The Weekend...in Vegas, sans WBF

I am officially over my WBF. I still think he's cute and fun, and I might possibly still want to flirt with him, but I am going to put no more effort into him henceforth. Nothing happened to cause this big change, but if anyone is really interested in knowing more about why I no longer like him that way, you can email me.

On to more fun topics...I'm going to Vegas this weekend. Vegas, baby, Vegas! It is sort of unexpected but I am thrilled because I am in a big "go-out-and-party" mood lately. So I plan on doing just that....I'm gonna get out my CFM heels and my shirt cut down to the proverbial there, and then I'm gonna get my groove on and flirt with some boys.

BTW, I am going to post a real topic later, one that has interesting, thought-provoking topics. Stay tuned. The next post will be about the exorbitant US military budget and why the advice of "have no expectations," in regards to relationships is dumb.

The Better Side of Virgo

Okay, in response to Y's post on all the fabulous traits of a Gemini, I'm going to show that we're not all "analysis and worry" 24/7. There ARE good things about Virgos too.

Apparently, maturity is not one of them.

Virgos are....

"...often associated with the birth of gods, in mythology" (because Virgo=Virgin)
"...able to build dream castles on a firm practical foundation"
"...excellent in mastering emotions"
"...masters of arranging and organizing the world in order to find not just the best but the perfect solution"
"...blessed with the capacity for simplicity and clarity in expression and communication"
"...prudent and practical...almost unlimited capacity for work and service to others."
"...full of devotion and loyalty"
"...quite resilient"
"...precise, meticulous and ambitious workers"
"...good at entertaining"
"...good at buying cute red purses, first."

And this all means Virgos are cool (they give birth to gods), in control, organized, nice, good at surviving, hard working and fashionable.

See? Virgos aren't so bad...

The "Virgo-est" Virgo

Last night I stumbled across one of those tiny gimmicky gift books sold at the checkout stands of book stores. This particular book is devoted to describing my sign, Virgo, and tells all about how Virgos deal with family, career, health, romance and other signs. I don't typically put a lot of belief into zodiac-related things, but sometimes there seems to be some truth to how these books characterize people. I find it hard to believe that all people born within August 24th and September 23rd exhibit all these traits, but many of them are oddly accurate for me. As with any zodiac literature, there's a lot of nice fluff about how I'm a wonderful person and give back to the world, blah, blah, blah. But what's fun about sharing that? So here are a few of the more interesting and surprisingly accurate definitions of what it is like being a Virgo (in my experience).

Virgos are:
"...tireless in analyzing anything and everything"
"...harder on [themselves] than [they are] on others"
"...sometimes anxious"
"...capable of literally worry themselves into illness"
"...can sometimes suffer from lack of rest"

Anyone who knows me even a little can see that this is exactly me. When it's spelled all out like this though, I don't sound like such a fun person. But of course, according to "The Little Birth Sign Book: Virgo" I am a little fun too...

Sincerely,
The Virgoest Virgo of them All

P.S. Anyone interested in some good Cuban Rap? Check out Orishas. Anyone intersted in odd, ambient music from Iceland? Check out Mum.

P.S.S. I was only five minutes late to work today. The on-time/late delta is shrinking!

Running with Lilies

I ran before work this morning. It was really hard getting out of bed. I think I'm a little burnt out...well, that or I need the fear or a marathon to kick me into action. I put little post-it notes around my alarm clock last night saying "Get out of bed fat-ass!", "You're losing all your muscle," "Don't you want to look good in Cabo?" This is a method I employ only when I know it will be especially hard to get up. It works, but it's not the most pleasant way to start the day. During my nine minutes of snooze, I negotiated the morning's goals. I decided on 4 miles instead of 6, and I decided it would be okay to run slower then normal. And so it was with a grimace and a non-verbal whine that I greeted the still-sleeping world this morning. I managed to do all 4 miles and even added 0.2 mi more (of hills!). I did run more slowly than normal though, but that is okay because it was part of the "contract."

One of my latest obsessions--along with Cuba, the WBF and good espresso--is photography. I amuse myself during my runs by looking around at what would make good photos, creating little mental lists of things to try and shoot one day. KM recently asked for pictures of trumpet lilies. I don't know exactly what a trumpet lily looks like but today I noticed a type of lily growing in several gardens along the course. Interestingly enough, about a mile from home one such perfect little lily was lying in the middle of the sidewalk. I snatched it up and continued on my un-merry way thinking about what I could do with it. I decided to try and take some photos while holding it against a dark backdrop. I could crop out or clone-out my fingers. I keep my camera in my car trunk (so that I am never without) and decided to snap a few shots of the lily right before I get in the car to go to work (inspiration to get ready faster, right?).

I didn't get ready faster, but I DID take some photos of the lily. I held it up against the darkness of the garage. My elderly neighbor must have thought I was so odd. He saw me run out of the house, throw my stuff in the trunk and on the ground around the car, pull out a lily, whip out the D70, hold it up against an ugly garage, and take pictures of myself holding it. I happened to get some good-ish photos of it, which just proves how random photography really can be sometimes. I guess you just never know what you'll cross path with, how it can be turned into a good photo and more importantly, how such things can make you late for work AGAIN.

Other items to mention: my landlord, let's call him DVR, and his woman were at it again last night. Their bedroom is above mine and they like to do it. A LOT. Every week night between a 11pm and midnight they come together, so to speak. It sounds violent, and I feel sorry for her. I also feel sorry for me because I have to hear it. A LOT. But I think they were having some problems recently because there was a bit of a hiatus. I was thankful for the break, but I guess I'm happy for them now that they're back together? Oh, the joys of love.

WBF Update: I didn't think there was going to be one for today, but about an hour ago he came to my desk and asked if his sister could talk to me about college. She got into the school I went to and is trying to weigh all her options. He has friends who went there too, but he thought that she could get better advice from someone who wasn't a frat-type guy, like me. ; )

She will probably call me at work, he said, but I mentioned she could also call my cell at night it that works out better with her schedule. He whipped out his cell phone and checked to see if he had my number (I'd be lying if I said this wasn't part of the strategy). The exciting part of all of this: he DID have my number saved. Never mind that it was saved under the name "Mel Dog."

Please note, that's D-O-G not D-A-W-G, which would have been more hip-hop and cool.

Adventures in Lateness

I don't know what's wrong but for some reason lately, I am NEVER on time for work. I'm only about 5-10 minutes late and no one has said anything, but I'm really annoyed by it. This has been going on now for about 2 weeks and whatever efforts I make to change the pattern, something always thwarts my plan.

Today I left with plenty of time. So much time in fact that I was pleased with myself as I pulled out of the driveway. But that was when things stopped going smoothly. First, one of the major roads I take to work was closed for construction. I pull on to an alternative route and things seem fine. Speeding down the road, I decided to stop by the Daily Grind. Maybe it was the day to confess my attraction to the barista.

Upon arriving at TDG, I noticed an unusually long line at the first window. Thinking I'm being sneaky, I pull around the back-side and hope to glide into what is a shorter line for the second window. I was wrong. But now it was impossible to get back to the first window. I decided to wait anyway.

So, I'm waiting and waiting....I am not sure what the two SUVs in front of me ordered but surely it was something that required picking fresh beans from Columbia and then bringing them in by boat. 15 MINUTES LATER--I finally get my coffee. All the employees are running around trying to satisfy the hordes of angry coffee drinkers still waiting to be served, so I decided maybe today wasn't the best time for flirting. He did say hello though, and he also apologized for the wait. I felt happy with this bit of attention, only to turn towards the mirror and see that I had a big waffle crumb camped out on my lower lip. It was stuck to my extra gooey lip gloss, which was applied earlier in an effort to appear seductive for barista boy.

I pull out of TDG and continue towards the Man. I am no longer certain I will be on time, but maybe if things go well I won't be so late. The drive is going smoothly. I'm listening to Tori Amos and sipping my fabulous coffee, when all of a sudden the 605 freeway comes to a standstill. The traffic moves at sub-20MPH speeds for the rest of my commute, and I walk into the building in the customary fashion--run-walking while balancing my coffee, purse and lunch, attempting to put my keys and sunglasses away while getting out my work badge, sneaking into the side door, and scurrying through the mail-room all at 15 past the hour.

I guess some things just can't be avoided. I am a horrible employee.

Other news: Saw Tori Amos last night in concert at Royce Hall, UCLA. It was fantastic. She's a wonderful performer.

Fashion Theme of the Week: Each day I must wear a rainbow color, in order of the spectrum. So yesterday I had to wear red, today orange, tomorrow yellow and so forth. It forced me to get in an orange and yellow item--things I don't typically wear.

Flirting for 10 Year Olds

So in light of the Saturday evening events, I spent all day yesterday obsessing about my WBF. What did it all mean? Did our conversation happen only in my head? What if he doesn't remember it? What if he does like me but only in a hooking up kind of way? What if he can tell that I have a crush on him? Why do I think that would be bad?How will this effect working with him??

To make matters worse, today is his birthday. I told him I had a gift for him on Saturday (which is true), but that meant I was forced to see him today. Normally that is a good thing, but now I'm starting to get freaked out about all of this. I still like him and want him to like me, but I am unsure of everything. I wrapped his present yesterday and included a slightly flirty message, but today I wanted to drop it off at his desk when he wasn't around. I was so anxious to give it to him though that I was forced to pass it on while he was there. I was so terribly awkward and shy, I practically threw the box at him and scurried away with my head down.

He came by my desk later to thank me. I knew he would do this, and I was partially looking forward to such a visit (because I wanted him to see my sexy-in-a-work-way outfit), but also nervous because...well, I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm making such a big deal out of all this in my head or maybe because until this weekend, anything actually happening with him seemed so unlikely. And now that it's starting to become more of a potential reality, I am appropriately reverting to a 10 year old girl.

Maybe I am afraid because I just finished watching the Real World Las Vegas and the whole Steven-Trichelle situation makes me so sad. It's presuming a lot to think that that situation could even be applied here, but it does seem like a possibility and that is not what I want.

Obviously, the best, most-grown up behavior going forward is intermittent bouts of flirtiness followed by spells of avoidance. That way I will confuse him so much about what I want that nothing ever happens, and then I am saved from any heart-break.

I think he really liked what I got him for his birthday though, which is good...

Unexpected WBF Evening

My weekend started out pretty ordinary...Friday night was my dad's birthday dinner, did some spring cleaning on Saturday, and then went to a fund-raising action Saturday evening. After the auction, I planned to meet up with two of my girlfriends (Babydoll and KA) who live close to where the auction was. It had been a long time since the three of us got together and we were overdue for a night out.

We started out at a MB martini bar and then worked our way through several other places--a dive bar, a bar with dancing and then a trendy over-crowded place. It was lots of fun, especially after Babydoll and I decided we needed to step things up a bit and did so by taking a shot of Raspberry Vodka. I think it was Smirnoff. Ick. It worked though! The night got more random, fun and crazy after that. One of the highlights involved sneaking into the boys bathroom (with boys in it) because the girls line was too long. It was not one of my classier moments, but it was definitely funny/fun.

Later in the night, we ended up in HB. We walked in to PMs and guess who was standing there?? MY WBF. I couldn't believe it. I know he lives nearby, but I never expect to see him out in HB because he usually hangs out in the Valley or on Sunset. We ended up hanging out with him and his posse for the rest of the night. It was fun! We danced a little, laughed lots and then had some pizza. The whole night added new elements of flirty-ness to our relationship. Serious elements of flirting, actually. We even had a conversation about "us," but it didn't get very far and was more of a non-verbal, gesturing sort of communication that began with "so have you ever dated anyone you work with?" (or something like that). We were all going to go back to his place after the pizza but Babydoll and I decided against it because we were tired and annoyed (at his brother for spilling pizza on us). It was probably for the best though because not going left him wanting more. Or so I like to think.

There's a whole other element to the story involving a dumb little (girl) friend of his who was really trying to "get" my WBF. She was being competitive and took a few low blows at me. I am hoping that's because she was feeling threatened. Whatever. I could take her.

Earlier in the night I asked Babydoll if she thought we'd meet boys that night. Without even skipping a beat, she said in her smuggest princess voice "of course." I guess she ended up being right!

Sides of Barista with my Morning Coffee

I have a crush on someone who works at the coffee shop I go to. It's called the Daily Grind (isn't that a nice comforting name for a coffee place?). One of the guys who works there is cute! But I don't know his name and our conversations are pretty much limited to, "I'll have a Medium Americano with Half and Half" or "Nice day, huh?". BUT, our non-verbal communication suggests that we both keep an eye out for each other. There are several problems barring this little coffee crush from advancing. Here they are:

1) Age: He is probably in college, as this particular Daily Grind location is near a university, and most of his co-workers seem college-aged.

2) What Window will he be at? This coffee shop is a drive through and I never know what side of the shop he's working on! With careful examination, I was able to determine what mornings he works (not on Thursdays), so maybe with some more time I will figure out his window patterns. Sometimes, even if he's working on one side, he comes by the window I'm at to make sure my order has been taken.

3) Sunshine: If we happen to meet on the East window, the sun is too bright lately for eye-contact. I know this because he once said, "The sun is so bright, I can barely see you". I hope he wasn't happy about that...I do make sure to always look my best when I go. Maybe June Gloom won't be so bad this year.

4) Awkward Coffee: If I make any move to let him know I think he's cute, and things don't go well, then I will have to find another place to get coffee in the morning. And I really like the Daily Grind! Not so much because the coffee is good, but because it's the morning equivalent of a cup of soup during a winter-time cold.

I have two options here. I can do nothing, or I can pass him a note saying "I think you're cute." That's innocent enough, yet sweet and playful in a 12-year-old-girl way. I'm not propositioning anything or even asking him out, just giving him a compliment. And if nothing comes of it I will still be able to get coffee there.

Of course now that I'm almost 27--which puts me in the top 3rd of my 20's--maybe I should just grow up and ask him out like an adult. When he asks me my order next time I can say, "I'll have a Medium Americano with half & half, and a piece of you on the side."

Too Sensitive or Appropriately Annoyed?

I was sitting at Starbucks today doing my homework during lunch. Apparently they are having some kind of hiring event at this particular location. One of the managers interviewed a few people at the table next to mine. During one of the interviews, the male manager asked the young female interviewee, "Are you pregnant?" Her response was, "I don't think so." He then said, "Do you plan on getting pregnant?" I couldn't hear what she said exactly but from the the few words I caught and from the body language, it seemed as though she answered "no" in some way and the manager seemed satisfied with her response.

This girl looked about 17, and she appeared to be unmarried (no ring). Asking this question seems inappropriate to me, and I seem to think that such questioning by a perspective employer is a type of sexual harassment. Isn't it? And if it isn't, it should be. I heard the same manager interview 2 guys and that question never came up. I was shocked and appalled. I even turned sharply towards him and looked right at him when we asked. I'm not sure he noticed but I did what I could to make him feel guilty.

I am not one to make big issues about small-ish gender differences, and I CAN see the manager's concern...Pragmatically speaking, hiring a pregnant lady could be inconvenient. But I certainly don't think it's right to treat men and women in the work place differently, and I don't think it's right to ask this question, especially in an interview.

Maybe I"m just being sensitive because I am tired of being told by my boss "One day you'll have to decide if you're going to be a mommy or a career woman." I HATE that conversation.

Countdown....

I am wearing green pants today. GREEN! I've never owned or worn green pants before, but I've definitely been getting more bold with fashion lately so I don't feel like it's too daring. And the outfit follows with this week's theme--"something I haven't worn in months." Well, actually, these pants are something I have never worn. I bought them in January after surviving a long and hard tradeshow. They were full price and kind of expensive for what they are, so they were a "reward." When they arrived (I bought online) they were a little too small! I thought about returning them but decided that I was going to use them as inspiration to lose weight. And today, I am wearing them! It's very exciting. There is absolutely no stretch in these pants and they are still a little tight through the upper thighs but everywhere else fits nicely and they are finally comfortable. So I am thrilled.

Other news: My Lunch with WBF went well yesterday. I think I only like him as a friend though. He's funny and nice and I feel like I've known him for a long time, but the relationship is starting to feel brotherly to me. This is probably a good thing though, as he's definitely not good relationship material.

Here are some exciting future events (not very interesting for anyone else--don't feel obligated to read! It just helps me put daily work crap into perspective):

In 1 Month
School will be out
I go to Cabo

In 3 Months
I go to "Cancun"

In 4 Months
My 27th Birthday--a big party with my Babydoll (first weekend of August for anyone who wants to come) and a family trip to Palm Springs! I will be in the last 3rd of my 20's. That part is not exciting.

In 5 Months
I begin my "real" pre-req courses (the kind that involve labs with dead things)

In 11 Months
Brazil! Ole!

In 13 Months
Kentucky! Giddy Up!

In 2 Years
Become a Nurse and decide about when/where to get masters for NP program...or possibly an RN to MD thing??

Sweeping out the Riff-Raff

I just had a marathon spring-cleaning weekend. It resulted in re-arranging my entire room. They say that things like re-arranging furniture can sometimes be about wanting to take control of something. I'm not sure if this particular rearrangement was a psychological outcry for a sense of control, but it sure feels good. The whole room feels new again. And in the process of cleaning and dusting in places not normally reached (under the bed, behind the armchair) I got rid of all left-over, "put-away-so-as-not-to-be-traumatized" ex-boyfriend stuff. I threw away every sentimental thing related to him that I kept after we broke up just in case one day I would want it or miss it. Except the watch. I kept that...because it's nice and pretty. I may be a little bitter, but I'm not stupid. One day when I'm a student again, I may be in desperate need for money and then I can sell it to a pawn shop. That's why I kept it. But cards, t-shirts, stuffed animals, emails, business cards, all were thrown out or put in a "give-away" pile. And that felt nice.

Once, a long time ago, a friend of mine gave me a toy broom when I was amidst the end of a very immature and stupid relationship. He told me it was to "sweep out the riff-raff." I didn't actually sweep anything this weekend (as my room is carpeted) but it was definitely a metaphoric and surprisingly cathartic riff-raff sweeping. Good-bye MS.

On another note, I am so pleased with my new room arrangement, I had trouble sleeping! I kept waking up and thinking, "My room is so pretty from this angle," or "My how cool it is to be positioned this way." Yes, this is a little odd, but that's okay because I'm happy.

Fashion Theme of the Week: Each day, I must wear an article of clothing I haven't worn in a LONG time. We're talking months. Today, I am wearing a pink shirt I almost got rid of this weekend. It was actually on the give-away pile, but then I needed something to wear with my khaki skirt and this beckoned to me from atop the clothing mountain in the hallway. And thus, a theme was born.

Family Criticisms

Last night, I came to visit my grandparents. I haven't seen them in awhile and I look a little different. I've lost some weight and have a better haircut, so most changes are for the better. My grandmother cooed over me accordingly for awhile (as grandma's do). After a few minutes of this she said, "I was thinking, and you'd look a lot better if your boobs were bigger."

Gotta love that!

My WBF is my Hero

I was just talking to a group of co-workers. One of them, a girl and a friend, said "ML, your eye make-up looks good and different. Did you do something new?" The only "new" thing I did today regarding make up is actually put some on. I decided recently that I am looking more haggard and world-weary these days. I told her what I did differently, got kind of embarassed during the telling (because of the group!) and then insinuated, in a funny way, that it was embarassing me to talk about this in front of everyone. And THEN, my WBF jumped interjected with, "I think it looks nice too."

My WBF liked my make-up (giggle).

2nd Post: WBF Updates and A Request to YOU

Hey! I usually don't post twice but today warrants it. I have two more things to share:

1) My WBF asked me to lunch today. Here is how it happened. I haven't seen him or talked to him since yesterday's apology email chain. Which ended with an, "I'll save this email in case you piss me off one day." (my oh so witty response to his "well you can punch me in the face if you want"). Today, I was passing through the mailroom when he walked in. He took my hands, pinned me against the wall and took me there on the counter. Just kidding. I was passing through the mailroom and he was in there mailing stuff. I said, "Hi" and, "Looks like you've got quite a project going on" (there were boxes and stuffing everywhere). He laughed and said, "Yeah, it's a party. Want to join?" I kept walking during this and at this point I was almost out of the room. So I said something like, "Think I'm going to pass" and then left. I was applying "The Rules" here...I left him wanting more.

Then, an hour or two later, I got an email from him saying: "Yo ML, Do you want to go to lunch tomorrow? BC"

Te, he. I'm excited. We're going to lunch Monday (l already had other plans).

2) I'm super into my new fancy camera, and I want to get lots of practice taking photos of people. CALLING ALL FRIENDS WHO LIKE PHOTOS. Can I please practice on you? I will go to any location and will take photos of any situation. You can wear whatever you want. My only requests are that it's outside and that people are involved. Viewers of America's Next Top Model are preferred. Just kidding.

Seriously, let me photograph you! I've already convinced my mom to let me drag her to the beach one afternoon, but I need many subjects, different lighting situations, different angles and emotions.

The Color Purple

My roommate, MC, is quite the fashionista. And one of the fun things she sometimes does is set weekly themes for work clothes. One week she tried to wear all black, one week it was all black and white, etc. Since I enjoy experimenting with work clothes (how fun and funky can I get while still being considered business casual?), I thought it would be fun to try it too! So this week, I am trying to wear something with purple all week. This is challenging for a few reasons: 1) Do I own enough purple to do this for 5 days? 2) Do I own enough purple items in different shades/textures/styles so that it doesn't look like I'm in uniform? 3) I'm not supposed to even like the color purple...is it crazy for me to even think I can do this?? These issues make this challenge all the more fun.

For those of you who don't know, the women in my family don't typically like purple. The reason: my great-grandmother was buried in a purple dress. She died when my mom was five. So my grandmother came back from Hawaii after her death and convinced my mother from a very young age that purple is ugly. She grew up not hating the color, but avoiding it like a good daughter should. Then I came along. Now I don't know what my mom used to say to me about this color, but I do know that I have never liked it. Ever. I've never had my room painted it, I've never bought purple clothes, I never liked purple candy. Some of this undoubtedly has to do with the fact that I don't like "grape" flavoring, but I can't help but think that some of it also has to do with this bias running through the women in my family.

Fast forward to Halloween 2004. I am designated the purple Fanta in our group costume. I like Red better, but I thought I looked more like the purple Fanta girl (and I wanted it to be as accurate as possible). I choose purple willingly, but I have to admit I was a little worried because I didn't want to look ugly. And instinctively, without logic, I think of purple as ugly! But it ended up being just fine, and after wearing it I don't think that the color is ugly. In fact, my brush with purple on Halloween made me realize I do actually have lots of clothing in shades of purple. I've got tons of lavender, some purplish-burgundies and some things in an aubergine type shade. And really, they're all quite lovely. So I've decided my problem is not with all purple in general, but with the primary color only. But even wearing primary purple clothes in the right circumstances can be okay too.

So attempting to wear purple-colored items for 5 days in a row is a big challenge for me--not just because it's hard to stay fashionable, professional and non-repetitive while working within a theme, but also because it is forcing me to accept that I sort of like the color my great-grandmother was buried in. Which means I am growing as a person.

I think I've done a good job so far this week. Monday was a pretty basic 3/4 length purple sweater, yesterday was a grayish-lavender sheer shirt layered over an aubergine tank top, today is a pinkish-lavender embroidered blouse. I'm a little worried about tomorrow...maybe I can whip out the purple mini-skirt from Halloween.

If anyone thinks I'm shallow, read some of my earliest entries. There was depth in March!

My Little Work Crush

I have a cute little story about my cute little crush. He's not actually little but he's young which puts him under policy (the "policy" is still in effect even though I am practically an asexual type bachelor). Let's call him WBF (work boyfriend).

Yesterday WBF came up to say hello to me. We often run into each other in the halls and always stop for a good few minutes to chat, but yesterday he actually sought me out to say hello! The conversation proceeded as usual. I get a little nervous around him because I think he's so cool, so I find myself getting a little more, um, girly. Kind of giggly, blushing, nervous and smiley. I'm sure it's all quite obvious. Anyways, he asks me about how things are going and he knows quite a lot about what I do outside of work so he was going down the list...how's running, how's this, how's that, then he say's "how's school?" Now, we're talking in sort of a high traffic area near a co-worker who I don't share much personal info with. "School" is supposed to be a secret at work, but WBF knows all about my future plans. He also knows that it's supposed to be kept on the DL. So when he brought it up at my desk in a loud voice, I get all panicked and silent and manage to whisper, "We're not supposed to talk about it." He gets quiet and seems kind of confused and says, also in a whisper, "I thought people knew you were taking classes." There was probably a minute of awkwardness in which he apologized several times, and during which I realize that if anyone questions it I can just explain that I am taking an online class for fun. I told him not to worry and that probably no one heard. He apologizes again; the conversation moves on. I slip back into my 12-year-old-school-girl act and the conversation wraps up. After he leaves, I forward him some sound clips that he heard at my desk and asked for copies of. He responded: "wow. this is so cool. thanks for once again broadening my horizons." At this point, I am pleased and twitterpatted because I love "broadening him" (this is something he often says about me), and I completely forget the whole school incident.

Today, after lunch I come in to an email from him saying: "Hey, I'm sorry if I blew your cover yesterday. I totally wasn't thinking." Isn't he cute?? I think it's so sweet that he was worried enough about it 24 hours later to apologize again. So I wrote back that it wasn't a big deal, thanks for apologizing blah blah blah, to which he responded: "well, you can punch me in the face if you want." LOL. He's so funny! I'm going to keep that email in case we ever date one day and he really pisses me off.

YAY for fun work crushes! Maybe I'll go walk by his desk now. I have an excuse to head that way...

My Boredom is making me Shallow

I have nothing exciting to share. My life is pleasantly normal at the moment. I still harbor trace amounts of anxiety about school, work, pre-reqs (balancing all of them in time), and traveling finances, but that's pretty standard for me.

My brother's traveling in Europe right now...I am jealous.

I have a cute outfit on today. I don't mean to sound shallow, but I like it and I think it's good for the season. (I can't believe I am saying this...see what a calm pace of life does to me?!?!)

Oh yeah, I learned how to make a good Mojito the other day. Apparently it's a recipe passed down through an acquaintance's Cuban grandmother. It's how they do it in Havana he says. It's important for me to know this.

What else....I finally finished the Da Vinci code. I can see why everyone liked it but I did not. Maybe it is because all the hype.

My boss gave me my raise for this coming year...it's pretty good considering all the parameters, but factors down to practically nothing on an after-tax, per pay-check level. At least I didn't get the "one day you're going to have to decide about becoming a mommy or career woman" speech. I hate that. I was worried though because he coerced me into going to lunch with him (that's not sarcastic, I actually did not want to go. Not because of the company but because I am desperately trying to lose 10 pounds before Cabo), and that speech usually happens over lunch.

I hope I have something more exciting to write about soon...

The office, or at least, my office

There was a new boy walking around our office this morning. Two of my friends (both female and both seriously involved in relationships) came up to tell me about the cute new boy. They were very excited. Why were they excited, you might ask? Because it was new "opportunity" for me. They really want to see me in a relationship so that, as one girl puts it, "we can double date."

Other office related news....I have an arch-rival. He's arrogant, condescending, binary, and for no good reason, he yelled at me recently. A lot. For about 5 minutes. It was bad enough to make me stand up and say, "I'll come back when you're more calm." There's a bet going around about how long he'll be here. I lost the bet as of today, but I am still hoping someone wins. That's better than no one winning...then we all lose...

I've become a Bachelor

The other night as I crawled into my fantastically comfortable bed, I had a little moment of nirvana. The sheets were crisp and clean, the down was fluffy in all the right places, it smelled of summer (coconut linen spray, thanks CH), and there was a soft ocean breeze coming in from window. It was perfect. BUT as fabulous as all these things are, they are not what caused my heavenly experience. The fact that I was alone in bed made me actually grin in the dark and squeal gleefully.

I have become a bachelor.

I like being alone more. I don't want to compromise on evening plans. I don't want to share television programs or even a space on the couch. I want to eat what I want. I want to sleep when I want, and I want to have the temperature warm enough so that I can be barefoot or wear sandals all the time.

But after realizing that I feel this way, thoughts of panic started seeping in recently...will I ever want to be in a relationship again? Will I ever want to give up my complete independence and sometimes solitude?? (Sigh). Only time will tell...