Tuesday's Deep Thoughts

I've spent a lot of time studying during the past few days, which means that I've spent a lot of time thinking. It's very easy for one's mind to wander when they're staring out into space trying to memorize which enzymes are released in the small intestine during digestion. And all that time thinking (about school and everything else) has made me anxious to stop. But in the course of it all I have had some interesting thoughts. I am a severe procrastinator and here are the fruits of my labor:

1) I wonder if people living in the Inland Empire think it's funny that it's called an Empire. I mean, how many people today can say they live in an Empire? At least they have something in common with the Ancient Romans.

2) Faxing feels really archaic. So much so that I do not like doing it. And this is funny to me because fax technology is not all that old.

3) Sour cream is good. I didn't know how good it was until KAH and BD showed me otherwise. Especially on Mexican food. I think I even like it better than guacamole. Wait, no I don't. But it's pretty good stuff.

4) Working out is fantastic. That's not really a surprise. I mean, we all know working out is good for you. It helps you deal with stress, helps you stay healthy, helps you sleep better, blah blah blah. But I realized the other day that it actually really does wonders to keep me sane and grounded. I think it's because I don't really think too much during it (other than thoughts like, "OMG, 20 more minutes?" and "Did Eva Longoria really wear that purple lacy prom looking thing to the golden globes?"). Time off from thinking, along with the endorphins and all that, make me feel rejuvenated and ready to face life again with renewed strength and clarity.

5) Showering is fun. I used to view showering as something you do just to make yourself look good. It was just part of the process of getting ready to be seen by other people. So it was kind of a chore. But I've started showering at night and it's sort of becoming addictive. It's like washing off the day to prepare for restful sleep. And I always feel so good afterwards. Only problem is when I shower at night my hair never looks as good the next day. And my hair is too dry to shower both day AND night. What to do, what to do...

Okay, these are my deep thoughts for Tuesday. I hope you enjoyed them. I look forward to getting my mind back after the exam tonight.

Photos of the Week: Oahu Trip

View from our balcony













Surfers waiting for the next wave.



















my favorite mountains!













My version of a corona ad. Those are my knees. This is the best way to view the world--lying down on a beach looking up.




















The best beach in the whole world, Lanakai.













Frost on my window during the flight home.

The Boy Diet

Doing the right thing regarding relationships and dating is sometimes like dieting. It can be about cutting back and not indulging. Which is hard.

I'm not always the best at sticking with a diet...or at sticking with working out regularly...or for that matter, sticking with ANYTHING I'm supposed to do regularly. Like grocery shopping, reading my book club book, writing in my journal, flossing, etc.

Right now I am on a TCN diet. He's a bunch of trans-fatty acid and I like free-flowing arteries.

The Biggest Boho

This morning I put on an outfit that I thought was charming--full of varied layers and textures. But I just went to the bathroom and have found that what appeared cute this morning actually looks disheveled and slovenly now. But last night I flipped through one of those gossip magazines at the gym and saw some of the latest Olsen Twin pictures...

In light of what I saw, I am going to claim that my outfit is "bohemian."

Of course, I have taken the look one step farther than them...I have actually had a day full of events that augment my look. So now, I feel AND look haggard.

I guess that means I out bo-ho'd them.

The 100th Day

I spent last weekend (plus a couple of days on either side of it), lounging in the tropical sunshine of Oahu. It was fantastic. I drank 100% kona coffee, ate luscious pineapple, indulged in the occasional malasada, surfed, soaked, read, and shopped. I slept an average of 10 hours a night. I got to see probably the most beautiful beach I've ever seen (Lanakai!) and some of the prettiest mountains in the world. There's something magical about jagged, steep lava mountains covered in green mossy growth and shrouded in mist. I also got to meet up with some family I haven't seen in awhile. It was a perfectly rejuvenating and therapeutic experience.

Upon my return, I have entered into a frantic, frenzied, stressful period of exams, trying to find student loans for next year, and catching up at work (sigh).

I guess it's good I got a vacation in when I did!

Today is my 100th day before my last day at work (including weekends and vacations). We're double digits here on out. This is a good thing, of course, but after learning that the government is giving me no financial aid, that my school gives only very small loans, and that the current school I go to is not an option for most private loans, I am FREAKING OUT. I'm not sure how I'm going to afford this.

Keep your fingers crossed.

The Complex Caring Frog

Yesterday my friend CH forwarded a link to a website that lets you set up an interactive Johari Window. According to this site, "The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up."

I sent the link for my Johari window out to some close friends and found the results pretty interesting. 80% (of five people) agreed that the following two adjectives are key elements of my personality:

Complex

and

Caring

I'm not sure what I think about this. Only one person put "self-conscious" as one of my top 5 traits. The fact that I am concerned that everyone may perceive me as (possibly too) complex--so much so that it makes it into the top 5 adjectives--makes me think that everyone SHOULD have picked "self-conscious." LOL.

How 'Bout Them Apples

We had our first test in Physiology last Tuesday and I KNEW I didn't do that well on the test. Here's why:

1) There was a phenomenal amount of material covered in this unit because it was basically teaching/reviewing all the chemistry/cell biology stuff we would need to know going forward (to understand the chemical reactions in the body, down to the cellular level, and why they happen the way they do).

2) I didn't take any Chemistry or Biology in College. In fact, I took both of those courses around sophomore year in High School (one via summer school). That means I was 15 last I did this stuff, and that means it was 12 years ago!!! And, the material as presented in this class is more advanced. I did take a couple of GE science courses at UCLA, but nothing serious. So for me this unit was more about learning than reviewing.

3) The course material we're supposed to know for each unit is broken down into objectives. This unit covered 36 objectives. To give perspective on how much material this really is, let me just say that answering one objective at times took over an hour. So answering all 36 of them ended up yielding 22 pages of typed material. It probably took me about 30 hours to collect all of it, let alone the time after that it took to memorize it all. So when I went into the test I did not know all the material backwards and forwards, like I wanted to.

4) This teacher is hard and actually LIKES to trick you on tests. I over-think everything so my mind does not work well in situations where I know I'm trying to be tricked. I also knew that on an OPEN BOOK quiz I took earlier in the semester, I got 7 out of 12 which I find completely embarrassing and appalling. Hence, my great fear.

5) Prior to handing back the exams, the teacher gave a little lecture about how horrible we did and about how disappointed she was in us, and about how we have to study more. The breakdown of the exam convinced me further that I did not do well. There was one A, 8 Bs, 2 Cs, 7 Ds and 6 Fs.

When I picked up my test I discovered to much amazement that...I got the A. And, it was actually a perfect score (but that was only because she offered an extra credit essay question. Which I answered with fervor. 'Cause I subscribe to the philosophy that every point counts...).

I was SO shocked and SO happy that I actually went up to the teacher and said, "am I reading this right?"

I guess I did study enough. I think it helps that I actually LOVE what I'm learning. We had a lab the other day on DNA replication/translation/transcription and, shock of shocks, I thought it was fun.

(it's okay, I'm rolling my eyes too).

Take that LHL and Russian Dancer!

Photo of the Week (2/14)

In honor of my Hawaii trip this week, here is a photo from my last Hawaii trip.

A "Cupcake" for You

I told the Evil Sith Lord I was giving TCN a cupcake. His reply: "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

and, in unrelated news...

Last week at TDG I requested a certain girl barista (B) to make my drink for me. She makes them the best! I guess Barista G heard that I had done so from someone else and made a comment like "oh, I guess she doesn't like the way I make them for her."

Today, Barista G took my order and Barista B was no where to be seen. Here was our conversation:

M: (takes sip of drink, remains silent).

Barista G: "Is it as good as B's?"

M (pausing while determining what to say...Because it isn't): "It's not bad."

Barista G (speaking with slight hint of scorn): "Well I'll have to work on that."

A Strange, Strange Weekend

My weekend was really strange. Nothing happened as anticipated and unexpected things crept up. Here's a summary:

1) I ended up hanging out with TCN on Friday night. It was the first time we've really gotten together since our fight and it was fun! I approached the evening in terms of establishing a friendship with him, so I tried to focus on that without having any expectations about anything else. But later in the night we ended up having a conversation about "us" again and I opened up to him about how I really felt. The conversation immediately turned to his questions about leaving LA during the summer. He's unsure about leaving and I think the question of "us" is related to all that. Which makes sense. But since our conversation he's seemed more open about things and more attentive. In fact, the whole weekend felt a little more couply. Especially Sunday--we texted/called throughout the day and he came over a couple of times. So now I feel more confident about things and less nervous about trying to hide how I feel. Which is good.

2) Saturday night was supposed to be a great night and it ended up being a bad one. Some friends and I had plans that fell through for reasons beyond anyone's control. I was sad about those circumstances (not understanding them and not being able to help or do anything for those involved). I was also sad because I had been looking forward to the evening. In the end I still had to go forward with the plans on my own because others were expecting it. So the night began with me not looking forward to it, not wanting to be there, feeling sad about the other situation I referenced above and being tired. I stayed only until 11 and then left. I just wasn't in the mood.

3) I went to the beach on Sunday! The weather was nice enough to officially begin summer season '06. It was perfect.

4) I planned to get lots done this weekend, in terms of studying, homework, packing and FAFSA info. But due to TCN and nice weather distractions, I got very little done. Oh well. I don't feel bad about it. I needed some down time.

Tomorrow is V-day. I was going to ignore it completely but now I am going to give TCN a cupcake.

Countdown

# of Days until my Hawaii weekend: 6
# of Days to the Bahamas Trip: 65
# of Days until I become a poor, starving student without a job and without a life: 114
# of Days I have to sit at work and pretend like I am interested (Read: # of Business days): 69

La Photo de la Semaine

(Everything sounds better in French)

101 Dalmatians for You!

I am going to admit something here that is slightly embarrassing and definitely juvenile. Many of you might not know that I collect Disney Mugs. I collect only a very specific type of mug, and incidentally, right after I started collecting them, Disney stopped selling them. I collect the kind that have scenes from Disney's animated classics. There are no words or titles on them, no gaudy collection of characters, no "princess" or "villain" themes. Just simple scenes wrapped around the mug. They are hard to find because there are a lot of wordy, ugly mugs out there.

I started collecting them because of someone from college whom I am no longer friends with, JC. She had a big collection of them and I liked them. And she would drink out of the Sleeping Beauty mug in the morning ('cause she was sleepy. Isn't that cute?!?!). So I started my own collection. Here are the mugs I have:

• Cinderella: The scene where her Fairy Godmother transforms her for the ball.
• Alice and Wonderland: The Mad Hatter's Tea party. One of my favorites. I like to drink from it when it's been a crazy day.
• Peter Pan 1: Tinker Bell Flying around Peter Pan after he captures Wendy from falling off Captain Hook's plank. I like to drink from this one when I wish I weren't a grown up.
• Peter Pan 2: Peter fighting Captain Hook on his boat and saving the Lost Boys.
• Aladdin: Jasmine and Aladdin flying on the magic carpet.
• Beauty and the Beast: Belle and the Beast dancing when she's in her big yellow dress.
• Sleeping Beauty: The scene where the Prince kisses her and wakes her up! One of my favorites. Like JC, I drink from this when I'm sleepy.
• Snow White: The scene where she bites into the poisonous apple. I don't really like this movie or this mug. Snow White is kind of dumb.
• 101 Dalmatians: I don't know what scene. There are a bunch of Dalmatians running around on it. 101, I guess. I don't really like this mug.
• Lion King: The scene when the baby Lion (Simba?) looks into the water and sees his dad in his reflection. One of my favorites but I don't use it much.
• Little Mermaid: When she's swimming around with Flounder, collecting people stuff. Like forks.

Because of all the studying I do lately, I have fallen back into my habit of drinking warm, comforting liquids as I toil through the night. And drinking such liquids more means I am around my mugs more. And being around the mugs more makes me want more mugs! And so, it was with some reluctance (and excitement) that I looked on eBay the other day. My initial search has led to the following outcomes:

• I am now the proud owner of a Dumbo mug and a Lady and the Tramp Mug (the scene when they share spaghetti! "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...").
• I lost out on a Lion King one (where they present Simba to all the animals). D*mnnit!
• I am about to win a Fantasia mug. And it looks like I could win another Cinderella and two more Sleeping Beauty Mugs!

And so you all now know that I am just a big hopeful girl that wants to believe in happily ever after. And these mugs have somehow become a way in which I keep that part of me alive.

So laugh all you want. I love my mug collection. And if you are mean to me about this, and you ever come over, and I make you tea, I will give it to you in the Snow White or 101 Dalmatian mug.

Let Me See Your Grill

This past weekend Y, BD and I visited our friend DJS in Tuscon. It was the perfect trip for me. Lately, I've been kind of weighed down by school and boy drama, so getting away was nice in and of itself. But, what was even better was spending such a fun, relaxing time with friends. I laughed the entire weekend and got to sleep lots. And everyone knows laughter and sleep is good for you! Also, we got to spend some time out in the desert where I got TONS of (what I hope will be) great desert shots. And, the weather was abnormally warm so it felt like summer.

Today I feel rested and clear-headed. Rejuvenated and grounded. Which is good because I have a big test tomorrow!

Here's one photo from my little camera. Photos from my big camera will have to wait until after my test. And here's a brief recap of some of the Tucson happenings.

Warning: many of the statistics below are in reference to inside jokes and past experiences. Just ignore those that don't make sense to you. That might be most of them...

• Cabo stories we told DJS: about 10
• Times we RE-told each Cabo story to DJS: 3 or 4 times each.
• Times we heard that fabulous Hip Hop song, Grill: 12 "Smile for me daddy!/What you looking at?/ Let me see your grill!/ You wanna see my what?"
• How often we wished CH were with us: ALL weekend
• Astronomers met: 15-20?
• Pieces of Amy's HEAVENLY Apricot Rum Cake consumed: 4
• Times I (unsuccessfully) tried to Hoola Hoop: About 5 or 6.
• Trips to Plush: 2
• Pictures I took of the Desert: about 150 (remember, you need to take TONS to get a couple of good shots!)
• Minutes I spent laughing: about 540 (half of my awake time in AZ)
• Times we said the word "Grill": Infinite.
• Hours of Sleep: 18 (across two nights)
• Tequila Shots: 1
• Sexy Blue Jesus Pant Cocktails: 0.5 (too sweet, but fun to say)
• "Ho" jokes: Infinite
• Amount of sugar DJS keeps in his house: 0 prior to our visit. Now there are 3 packs of Splenda stolen from the Rincon market for future guests.
• People who got to sleep in their own bed in their own room: 1. The Princess.
• Hours spent in glorious summery sunshine: 10
• Javolinas Seen: 6 (they're cute!)
• Mountains Scaled in Blistering Desert Heat: 1. It was huge. We barely survived.
• Meals involving chips and salsa: 66%

Grill.

here it is

Here it is, along with the watch that covers it. When my arm is down, any ways.

Daisy Rose Lily

KM, my BFF from SF, wanted three large prints of my photos for her birthday (to put up in her bedroom). While I was very flattered, I was also nervous about this project...three 12x16's? That's a pretty big print...and prior to this the largest print I ever got of a single photo was an 11x14 (incidentally, also for KM). That one turned out good but for her bedroom project she wanted flowers. Close-ups of flowers.

After fiddling with the file sizes, making test prints and then reprinting, these are the final files we went with. And I am happy to say the prints came in yesterday and looked good! Now this gives me more encouragement for printing and framing larger pictures.

In fact, I'm even tempted to try and convince the General to let me do something in our living room. We have one very long, very bare, very white wall that needs something...although, I'm not sure if I have anything good to put up (that would match and that both she and I would like...).

Oh well, for now, I am excited about the ones KM will be putting up.

It Hurts So Good

I went to Trader Joes on my lunch break today to buy some chips and salsa. I was disappointed to find that they still do not have any Roasted Tomatillo in stock. Even more disconcerting, they no longer have a tag for it. I fear it has been discontinued. Which makes me really sad because it is my favorite salsa of all time.

So I picked up my second favorite salsa, Medium Especial, which has been sadly ignored a bit lately due to my obsession with the Roasted Tomatillo. I also purchased another one, an unrefrigerated kind, called "Double Roasted Salsa". I thought that *maybe* because this is roasted, it would be as good as the Tomatillo. I was wrong. And I learned something very important--salsas sold in glass jars are just never as good as the fresh stuff.

So as I sat here eating lunch, happily going back and forth between the yummy Medium Especial and the so-so Double Roasted I re-remembered just how spicy the Medium Especial actually is. It should probably be called HOT Especial. And this is serious because I have a higher tolerance to spice then most white folk (I believe I ruined my sensitivity to spices from eating too much too spicy Indian food when I lived in England).

My mouth is on fire but I cannot stop.

help....

A Second Start to the New Year

When 2005 ended and 2006 began I thought certainly 2006 would be a great year. Something about the sound of it. 'Six' rolls off the tongue better. It's more euphonious than 'five.' But so far I am disappointed to report that 2005 was better. Of course, we're only a month in so I'll reserve official judgment until we're at least past June.

On Sunday I got another tattoo. It's small and on the inside of my left wrist (where it can be covered by long sleeves, a watch, a bracelet and/or Band-Aids). It's the Chinese characters for "Inner Strength." Now that I am marked with this symbol, and now that I can see it all day long, I have no choice but to be strong, mature, grown up, etc. All those things that are related to part of my '06 NY resolutions.

Ironically, I ended up getting this Chinese character tattoo on Chinese New Year. So maybe my gut during those last few seconds on 2005 about how great 2006 would be was more in reference to the lunar new year. Maybe 2006 will be better now that I am branded with strength.

Here was the last second of '05: