Lordess of the Rings

I love rings. They are the one type of jewelry I can wear all the time and never get tired of them. I have certain favorites and go through different ring phases. I also buy them when I travel, and I like to commemorate big or special events with purchases of new items. Well, maybe it's more like I buy rings that I like and rationalize their purchase by making up large events worthy of commemoration (e.g. the "thank-god-I'm-not-in-a-dumb-relationship" ring, the "good-job-on-that-big-project" ring, or the "thank-god-I've-just-survived-X" ring).

Unfortunately, despite my love of rings, I have a tendency to lose the ones I love the most. Sometimes I find them later, sometimes I don't. But here is a brief outline of my on-going saga with my favorite article of jewelry:

Small Silver Garnite Ring: small silver, central garnite stone purchased at a jewelry stand, in the north campus area of UCLA. I loved this ring but it only fit on my ring finger, so I though of it as "reserving the space" until I get married. I eventually lost it by leaving it on the living room end table at the parent's house of a guy named Neil in Cardiff, Wales.

UCLA College Ring, #1: white gold, 3 diamonds asymmetrically angled across the top. I never liked school rings, but my mom wanted to get me one and I fell in love with this one because it didn't look like a school ring. We parted ways when in a mad hung-over dash to catch our train out of Wales, I left it on the bathroom counter of a hostel. Right around the time I lost the garnite ring. Wales sucks.

UCLA College Ring, #2: same design as the original. The original ring was insured, so it wasn't a completely new purchase...this was a birthday surprise from my mother and it mysteriously disappeared one night after a Hollywood Bowl disco extravaganza. Disco sucks.

UCLA College Ring, #3: same design as the original two. Insurance only covered one ring, but I convinced ArtCarved to give me a frequent customer discount. And the benefit of this purchase is that I would get insurance all over again, which meant I could lose the ring one more time without much penalty. I still have this ring.

UCLA College Ring, #2, REVISITED: This ring re-entered my life one Saturday morning while going through boxes of photos and other old crap. This box was positioned below and next to the dresser upon which I kept my jewelry. After the Hollywood bowl night, it must have fallen into this box where it sat until I went digging around in it two years later. So now I have TWO identical UCLA college rings. Now I can lose one of them and still be okay. That's comforting.

Antique Tea-Spoon Ring: It's made from the end of an antique tea-spoon bent into a circle. I bought it at a craft faire in Port Douglas, Australia at Christmas time. I deserved it because a boy was in the process of dumping me and I was about to quit my job. Plus it was Christmas. I deserved a gift! I still have it, still wear it sometimes, but because it was originally a utensil and not meant to be worn, the silver turns my skin green.

Stacked British Silver Ring: Two silver bands, one brushed silver, one polished. The polished silver band has a triangular CZ diamond on it. I bought it at a jewelry store in Durham, England, UK because I had just switched jobs. I deserved a ring to celebrate surviving the process. I still have it and I never take it off.

Citrine Ring: Large, princess cut Citrine stone angled so the edges point in a diamond-like fashion. I bought it at a street faire in Portland, Oregon, 4th of July weekend. I wear it stacked under the stacked silver rings above (I'm a fan of stacking). MS had just dumped me. I was sad. Citrine is cheery. I still have it,and I never take it off.

Follow the Frog Ring, #1: This is a unique large, round silver ring that winds into smaller and smaller concentric circles. I got it in Puerto Rico to commemorate the fact that I loved it there. And also it served as a physical reminder for following life wherever it may lead (follow the frog, an idea which originated in PR). Unfortunately, this ring mysteriously disappeared the night of my birthday party after getting intoxicated and then swimming in the ocean.

"WBF is Dumb" ring: This is one of my newest purchases. I got it yesterday. It is 5 small silver bands in different patterns. It was an impulse buy at Target. Only $5.99! I wear them spread across two fingers--3 on my left ring finger to replace the Frog ring and 2 on my left index finger. I earned it because I'm kicking a** in anatomy, I miss my Frog ring and I think WBF is dumb.

Follow the Frog Ring, #2: Since losing the original on August 6th, I have sought the original incessantly while looking for a replacement. I found neither. Until last night. I went to the campus book store to buy a mall probe and some tissue forceps (kitty dissection night in class!) and there it was. Beckoning to me from a jewelry stand on the LBCC campus.

Alas, my ring collection is complete once again. Of course this could all change depending on where I travel, the boys I meet and how much I drink.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't ever give me an irreplaceable ring you want me to keep forever.

The Safest Places

You know how when pets or young children are scared and they go to a place that makes them feel safe? I was wondering today what that place would be for me. You know, in case I ever turn into a scared pet.

My first response would be the floor next to my bed and night stand. It's a small little nook at the back of the apartment where I feel tucked away and hidden. But then I thought more about it, and I think that the place that would feel most safe to me in all the world would actually be the floor next to my parents bed on the side my dad sleeps on.

Obviously, I've got a strange thing with floors next to beds. But aside from that, I think the space next to where my dad sleeps is where I'd feel safest because (a) It's in my family home where I lived for a good majority of my life, (b) it's close to the space my dad occupies (when he sleeps) and he probably makes me feel safer than anyone I know (followed closely by my mom and my friend KM), and (c) it's way back in the corner of the house and hidden from view.

I'm not sure what all this says about me, psychologically. I guess more of an interesting question to think about is why I feel an urge to think about those spaces that make me feel safe. There's a lot of change going on around me lately. Changes for me personally but also for many people I know. More and more I feel uncertain about everything--who I am, where I'm going, if I'm doing the right things, etc. Fall is here and the weather is unusually hot. It's like the whole world is in a unique period of transition and on some level that is scary.

Maybe figuring out my "safe place" was sort of like the emotional equivalent of packing an earthquake kit full of canned food and bottled water.

The Sounds of 1927

So last Tuesday we found out about our rent increase. Being an A-Type-overly-anxious-Virgo, I approached the apartment hunt in the same way I do most things I care about--with 120% effort, in an all-consuming, never-off-my-mind kind of way. (While this sort of tenacity makes for a productive life I think I tend to scare away more laid-back, B-type people. Like WBF and dumb ex MS. Hence my perpetual singleness.)

Anyways, I started looking for a new place minutes after I read about our rent increase. The next night I visited an apartment. On Saturday and Sunday I drove up and down the streets of the LBC viewing about a dozen places and making even more phone calls. And by Sunday afternoon I was convinced I had found it. The general was out of town, so I made viewing appointments for her return Monday night. We visited the top two places, turned in our application for the best one, and wrote a check deposit.

And now we have a new, cheaper, and in some ways better home. I'm so excited! Change is always invigorating.

But of course, being the A-Type-overly-anxious-Virgo that I am, I have two operating speeds: on and off. When I'm "on," I act quickly and efficiently, often allowing no time for emotion (I'm like a soldier). When I'm off, feeling starts seeping in--against my better judgment. And so last night while sitting in my room reading, I started to get sad. I love my apartment. I love its quirks and its charm. It's got big bright windows and lots of lovely built-ins. Sometimes you can hear crickets at night (sometimes), and you can usually smell the ocean when you leave in the morning. Lately, I can very faintly hear what sounds like a distant fog horn. It makes me think of my lovely little city guiding wayward sailors through thick fog towards their homes. The apartment is old--it was built in 1921--and since vintage things are always loved for that which would be considered troublesome in other environments, even the sticky light in our bathroom adds charm.

And because all of this is coming to an end soon, I started to think that maybe I would even sort of miss those sounds that sometimes wake me at night. Last night I made a little summary of what those sounds are. Here are some of the ones that stuck out:

1) The Phantom Car Alarm. This was big enough to dedicate a whole post to it back in March. There is a car that parks somewhere near our apartment with a very sensitive alarm trigger. It's annoying most of the time, but sweet and endearing to me now that I know it is going away forever.

2) The sounds of hoodlum gangsters speeding their lowered vehicles, blasting reggaeton and screeching to stops at the intersection,.

3) sometimes those people from #2 can't stop in time. And then there's crunching metal sounds too.

4) Sirens: Even though we buttered up the local firemen with cupcakes (the cupcake brigade's inaugural operation), the siren noises as they speed off to saves lives are annoying. I like that they're helping people, really, I just don't want to hear it.

5) The church bell alarm clock: someone somewhere near us has an alarm clock that sounds like church bells chiming. They like to wake up around 5am. They suck.

6) The sounds of the landlord and his woman doing it between 11pm and midnight. Now that the baby is born, they're back to their regular schedule. No need to say any more.

Maybe I won't miss this apartment.

Photo(s) of the Week 9/23

Two P.O.T.W's today...theme is about the passing of days.

Here's a day beggining in Channel Islands Harbor, Ventura, CA.




















And here is a day ending. This is at California adventure in Disneyland.

The Best Moments

I saw a commercial for Miller beer on TV last night. If it weren't about something like beer, it would have been kind of cool. It was a woman's voice talking as various images were panned across the screen. The voiceover was about how life is full of moments and the pictures complimented the words by showing people in various significant and celebratory life stages. Of course the angle of this particular commercial is that Miller Light, the champagne of beers, is "there through it all." Cheesy, yes, but I couldn't help myself from feeling a little bit of nostalgia--for all that has happened and all the unknown ahead.

Sometimes I find myself surprised at my age. I know I'm not old, but 27 years are done and gone. I look forward and think about what is to come next and I start to feel anxious. There's so much I want to do and not enough time. I mean in 13 years I'm going to be 40! FORTY!!!! Thirteen years doesn't feel far away unless I look back at the last 13 years. And then I realize a lot can happen in 13 years. Hell, a lot can happen in one year. That makes me feel better about things like 40 looming ahead.

So a la Miller's latest commercial, here's a list of some of my favorite adventurous life moments over the past 13 years. These memories and experiences are what motivate me.

• Sneaking on to a farm to play on rolls of hay in the Loire Valley, France.
• Swimming with blue glowing, incandescent microorganisms at night in Puerto Rico.
• Kayaking through sea caves in Anacapa, in the Channel Islands.
• Snorkeling with huge schools of fish in the Whitsunday's in Australia (seriously, fish all around me. Even with snorkels in our mouths my family and I managed to squeal and laugh so loudly that our boat's captain had to tell us to quiet down).
• Sliding down waterfalls in the Daintree Tropical Forest, NE tip of Australia.
• Coming across and going along next to a huge pod of dolphins (100+) on our boat-ride back from Anacapa.
• Climbing Snowdon (big mountain in Wales) in the rain (which turned into ice at the peak) without ropes when we should have been using them.
• Sliding down a snowy mountain in England's Lake District, using only an ice-ax to stop or slow down.
• Riding a bike on the dykes in the Waterland area north of Amsterdam (where all the windmills are).
• Stumbling upon a block party in the South of France and being invited to join in the festivities.
• Salsa Dancing in Madrid with Havo. I love him.
• Having bag-pipes played for me by a Scottish man standing on top of a bar in Prague.
• Biking through the Gap of Dunloe in Killarney Ireland.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall

Today is the last day of summer. I find it ironic that there was thunder, lighting and rain all night. Actually, It was a pretty strange night. First off, there was a very small, very lonely, very lost kitten hovering around our apartment. The general and I investigated. It was so tiny and had such a sad persistent meow. I gave it some milk (Fat free...it was so scrawny it probably could have used some full cream) and then we tried to coax it to us. It was too scared though.

While we were on our hands and knees looking under our cars and trying to convince the kitten to trust us, we kept seeing flashes of light around us. No rain, no thunder but bright flashes of light. It was all a very strange, surreal moment. We never managed to help the cat (aside from the FF milk) and the storm got worse. It made for an interesting studying environment.

Speaking of which, I know you are all SO fascinated to know more about my anatomy endeavors, so here's an update. I studied hard core until about 12:30 last night. I feel prepared for tonight's test but I am really worried about Thursday's. It is double the content and double the points, but only one day away. So unfair. I am not sure when I'm going to review everything. I would call in sick tomorrow or Thursday but this week at work is crazy too. AND, there's the added distraction of Lost and American's Next Top Model premiering tomorrow night. Also, unfair.

At least I can say in good faith that I am very familiar with all 206 bones in the human body.

A Day of Studying

I spent the entire day yesterday studying the complete skeleton system of the human body. And I mean, literally, I spent the ENTIRE day studying. In fact, I did not even leave my apartment once. Not once. Not to go outside and get the paper, not to walk to the laundry room, not for anything. I never crossed the threshold. I did manage to get dressed and to move from my bedroom to the living room, but that's about it. Oh, and I did allow 30 min breaks periodically for food.

A friend once insinuated recently that this anatomy class couldn't be that hard because it was only at a JC. After spending 16 hours memorizing the Latin names of every single bone in the body--along with the joints they form and all their the various bumps, grooves, notches, projections and formations--I can say with great sincerity that this may perhaps be one of the toughest classes I've ever taken.

While it is at a JC, it is a class designed to weed out those less serious about going down this educational path. It is also set up for Life Science majors only, so it IS harder than the average GE. In fact, the class began with 35 people. Within the first 4 weeks, 10 dropped out. At class last week, two people got up and left mid-lecture after hearing more about the content covered by this week's practical AND exam. Only 8% of the class passed the last practical. So, I'm not making up how hard it is.

Just a little bit more whining...this Tuesday, we have a practical covering all of the skeleton system. That means we have to be prepared to identify any structure on any bone, be able to determine it's position in the body, whether it belongs to a male/female (where applicable), what joints it forms, and determine if it's a right or left bone (where applicable). If that isn't enough, on Thursday--yes, just one day after the practical--we have an exam which covers all the material since class began. That means, we have to know EVERYTHING about EVERY tissue, every joint, every ligament, every bone, and every cartridge in the body. And oh yeah, we have to know how it all comes together, give the terms in Latin and spelling counts!

The sad part is that while this is so hard and I'm not certain how good I'll do in the class, I'm loving every minute of it.

Photo of the week

So I have a fancy digital SLR (camera). And I love it. But I don't get to play with it as much as I want. To encourage this hobby I have decided to start a "photo of the week" tradition here on The Frog. There's not much to explain so let me get down to business.

This is a photo of a little girl playing on Ke'e beach in Kauai. I love taking photos of people and sometimes the best opportunities are of strangers. But I usuallly don't have the guts to ask them if it's okay. In the interest of facing my fears (a recent endeavor), i asked this little girl's mom if I could take her photo. She was playing the sand and very friendly. She waved to me as I walked past and I must have walked 20 or so feet beyond her before I turned around, walked back and asked if I could shoot her.

ML, the Journalist??

I have something very exciting to share. I haven't written about it in here yet because, well....you'll understand why in a minute.

Earlier this summer, I wrote a blog post--"Perfectly Poised Under Pressure," mid-July--that made me think about writing again (not journals and blogs, but for papers and published things). And actually, it wasn't my post that made me think about professional writing again. It was more about the reaction I got from friends. Part of the reason I gave up on this mini-dream a few years back is because it is so difficult to get published. There are books on the subject, magazines dedicated to it, whole classes taught on the art of "what it takes to get in print." But I was lazy then...and young(er)...and I felt overwhelmed by it all. But all the recent friendly nudges pushed me to do SOMETHING.

Still feeling overwhelmed and lazy, I turned to what five years of real-world business experience has taught me: find what you need on the internet, network incessantly, and sell your products for a price that can't be beaten (free). So I googled some local papers, navigated to their websites, and found some random email addresses. I told them about myself, gave them a link to my blog and asked if there were ever interested in printing FREE articles from local residents.

This was in July and by the time birthday season hit, I forgot all about these little emails.

Fast forward to August 31st. Someone from one of the papers--herein referred to as the LBG--contacted me! This editor liked my blog, liked my style of writing, and thought that possibly I could write things for the LBG. We talked about my writing experience, what the LBG was looking for, the style of articles needed, my interests, etc. There seemed to be a lot of crossover between my interests/my style and what they were looking for. The editor said to call back a week later with some ideas for articles and we'd go from there. If I wrote an article and it was pretty close to being print-ready, and then it got published, I would go into the circulation as someone who could write articles on an as-needed basis. If things went well there might be opportunities for a column.

I could not believe this. I NEVER expected this to happen. I NEVER thought I could possibly ever write something that might make it into print.

So a week later I called LBG and we discussed some ideas. On Wednesday of this week I got my first "assignment." Well....I'm not really sure I can call it an assignment. It's more of a test. My test is to interview and report on a local DJ duo. If it is good enough, it will be included as a piece of a larger article about several different local DJs. It's small and it's only part of something bigger, but if it makes it to the paper I'll be a published writer!!!

I am still in shock about all this...but I can't be in shock for too long. My deadline is the 28th!

Southern Gentlemen DO Exist

Last weekend, at the BBQ for the Ohio State Football game, I met a guy we'll call SO. He was very chatty, funny and nice. He looks like he's 12 but turns out he actually is my age. I was taken in slightly by his charisma--because he was goofy and he made me laugh and I like that sort of thing--but I have nothing exciting to report about "us" because he has a girlfriend. BUT I wanted to share this little story about him because I am pleasantly surprised about what happened later.

During the night he was trying to convince everyone at the party to join him at KZLA's big country bash in October. I know nothing about country. Well, I take that back. The only thing I know about country music is that it's not my favorite. And, oh yeah, I also know some popular cross-over type country singers like Faith Hill and Shania Twain. Oh, and I know
the guys who marry/date famous movie stars (Kenny Chesney, and possibly Keith Urban. But that one's still pending confirmation from a reliable news source).

Back to the story. So, I know nothing about country. But I thought SO was cute and motivational about the whole thing, and since a couple other people that I met and really liked at the BBQ decided to go, Y and I agreed as well. After all, this does give us an excuse to buy western accessories.

While we were serious in saying that we'd go to the event, I wasn't sure it would actually happen. SO took my digits and said he'd call the next day about the whole thing. I smiled and nodded while smirking internally. Sunday came and went. Monday came and went. Tuesday morning, I woke up to a text message sent late the night before. It was from SO and said that he'd call soon to convince me to go the concert.

During our conversation later that day, we finalized the details for the concert and chatted about several other things. I was pleasantly surprised that he: (a) did call, (b) remembered everything from that night (about what I did, who I was, etc.), (c) said a few nice things about me, (d) still wanted us to go, and (e) asked with concern about Y's jacket--she left it at the bar that night. But what surprised me the most is this: at the end of the conversation, he said he'd be out of town for the next few weekends for work stuff. He told me all the details and I listened and politely asked questions, not really knowing why he was bringing this up. Then he said, "I'm telling you this so that if you don't hear from me in the next few weeks, you won't think I've forgotten about all this."

WTF?!?! A guy letting me know AHEAD of time that he might not call--for good reason--so as to preempt any of those imminent anxious thoughts from popping into my head when I don't hear from him for awhile? My goodness. What fabulous training the women in his life have given.

He hails from Virginia....maybe I should move there.

Adventures in California

As mentioned in my last post, my life has been full of surprises lately. Good, unexpected ones. The way surprises are supposed to be, I guess.

This past weekend was right in line with that.

Surprise #1: A Fabulous Friday Night In
I spent Friday night catching up on HBO's new series Rome. I was alone, on the couch, in my PJ's. It was the first Friday night in a long time where I have been so low-key and it was perfect. The air was just cold enough to feel like fall. I made yummy soup for dinner, donned my favorite yoga pants and white hoodie "weekend uniform," and spoke to no one. On top of the perfect level of comfort I enjoyed basking in, I also was pleasantly surprised at how good Rome was. The story is not new of course--and I expected to enjoy it for at least that--but I really like the characters and their various entanglements. Good job, HBO.

Surprise #2: Saturday Morning Surfing
Yes, that's right. The Private and I attempted to surf on Saturday off of the mainland. The surf is different, the water is colder, the sand is gross, and there were tons of jellyfish. We were using wet-suits and a real (non foam) long board. All of these conditions, I feel, give ample explanation as to why our surfing was only an attempt. But I am proud of us nonetheless. Aside from the surprising fact that I am attempting to surf and actually liking it, there was one other big early am surprise. As far as the eye could see, all the way north to LBC and south towards Newport, the coast was lined with people (mainly men) in black wet suits sitting on top of colorful fiberglass. I know surfers surf early. And I know there are lots of them in the So Cal region. But I have never seen so many in action ever before at one time. It was astonishing. And part of me couldn't help but think, "hmm....there's got to be some good BF material in here somewhere." I am ever the optimist.

Surprise #3: I cried at a wedding
I never cry at weddings. Mainly because during the ceremony, I usually think selfishly about how I will probably end up living alone with many cats on a barren coast where I drown my sorrows in whisky and have only the wind to keep me company. I digress. On Saturday, I went to a charmingly simple wedding for my best work friend, CS. I have known her from the tumultuous end of her last relationship all the way up through Saturday's yellow-rose, cliff-top, back-yard, Hermosa Beach afternoon wedding. I think the world of CS and I am honestly thrilled for her. Her relationship is one of the few that has actually made me say, "I want a relationship like that." And so, I cried. Not because I am sad about the looming future where I daily rock myself to sleep on a cob-webbed porch, but because I am happy for her.

Surprise #4: I had fun at a BBQ in honor of Ohio State's Football game
Y asked me if I wanted to go to a BBQ in RB after the wedding. I said "sure" because I don't know how to say "no." And because it was with new people...and because it might be fun. The party was hosted by J. Y didn't know J very well and didn't know any of his friends. I didn't know anyone but Y. All we knew was: BBQ for football. The BBQ had about eight people when we arrived. Six were guys--most from the mid-west--and all were under 25. So we walk in--I clad in a strapless dress freshly post wedding, she in crocodile skin pumps holding a bottle of chilled Mondavi Chardonnay. Needless to say, we felt immensely out of place. Funny thing is it ended up being a really fun night. Everyone was so nice! We spent the entire evening with them all and even went to TUG after the game. It was so refreshing to hang out with new people, immediately like them and immediately feel a part of their group. And, I've never given out my phone number so many times in one night. I hope our new best friends keep in touch with us! Y and I have overcome our two years seniority and would love to hang out with them again.

Surprise #5: California Adventures are Fun!
HB and I went to Disney's California Adventure on Sunday afternoon. I have always shown my support for Disneyland by snubbing it's younger, dumber, cool-theme-lacking neighbor. But now that I have my subscription to fun, and it's free to go to CA adventure too, I thought why not. Well...turns out, it's not so bad. In fact, it's really fun. A la Disney, the park is well laid out and pretty. Plus it's got some great things DL doesn't. Namely, better food and alcohol. There's actually a winery too. Odd, but good. Most importantly though, the park was EMPTY. Thankfully, the rest of the world also likes to snub CA adventure. Which meant that I rarely spent more than 5 minutes in a line. Another very good thing about CA Adventure: that Haunted Hollywood Hotel ride. Seriously I cannot get myself to stop laughing once that ride starts. Its inventors perfected the art of isolating and recreating that "whee" feeling in your stomach. Over and over. I'm not sure why it makes me laugh...it's not a particularly "good" feeling...but it is super fun and it makes me gleeful like a 3 year old at Toys R Us.

What a fabulous weekend. I hope the next one is as full of good fun surprises.

Surprise!

This has been a crazy, fun and very full summer. And something I've come to really notice in looking back at it is that life is full of surprises. What I mean by this is that things keep happening that I don't expect. This might not be a big revelation to most people, but I tend to be someone who looks ahead, plans things to make the best use of time, and tries to prepare for the future accordingly. That being said, surprises take me by surprise because they're surprising (yes, I'm full of deep, though-provoking concepts on this sleeping Friday morning).

The last month for me has been especially surprising. Mostly with good things. Some examples include WBF stuff, Cancun being cancelled because of Emily, planning a trip to Hawaii, learning to surf, getting into and KICKING A** in my anatomy class (I broke the curve on the last practical--I got the highest score and only two people--me being one of them--didn't fail).

Another big surprise life has served up lately is that...my dad is in a band.

Yes, that's right, I just wrote, "my dad is in a band." My dad is a mid-50-something who works as a Senior Quality Engineer with high level security clearance on government projects for Northrop Grumman. And at night, he "jams" on his guitar with fellow co-workers in a band they lovingly call "Know Roolz." In addition to my dad they have a singer, a base player, a keyboardist, and a manager. The manager may be the most interesting part of all this. He's an older, single, wealthy man who for some reason enjoys buying expensive musical equipment for the band and enjoys booking them at various Yacht club's throughout the Southbay.

My dad is an excellent musician and has been my whole life. Some of my earliest memories involve listening to him play. The first few notes of certain songs can draw happy or sad emotions from me like I'm a Pavlovian dog. So I'm not surprised that he's playing the guitar. But a band? That performs? In public? And get's paid?? This is something I did not expect.

I went to my parent's house a couple weeks ago and got to hear the band practicing. They were good! All I could do while I heard them play various Eric Clapton and Beatles songs was shake my head and smile. This was not something I expected.

Aloha!

So, I just got back from a fantastic vacation in Kauai. It was so much fun, I don't know where to begin. So I will break it out in outline form.

LESSONS LEARNED

• One uses more gas when climbing mountains than when driving around on flat land. One should check their gas gauge more frequently in such situations.
• It is difficult to catch a sunset in Kauai.
• Coconut milk does not taste good.
• High-way turns offs don't always make sense in Kauai.
• There ARE mosquitoes in Kauai and they DO NOT only come out at night.
• Even the most terrible of rain storms in Kauai don't last long.
• Frommer's Book of Tropical Adventures should be called The Book of Tropical Lies.
• Mana is not the bustling metropolis that The Book of Tropical Lies suggests.
• Barking Sands beach is not available to tourists, as the US Missile Base lives there.
• One cannot chill sodas by burying them in the sand and hoping that the 80 degree water will occasionally pour over it.
• Cute Fruit stands are operated by b*tchy blonds who sell sour pineapples.
• Roosters and Hens love Kauai. They also love the Private.
• 10' Foam Long boards are VERY heavy.
• Surfing is not only hard on your arms (from all that damn paddling) it also really hurts your ribs and stomach.
• "Looking to the shore" really can keep you balanced.
• Traveling along miles of dirt road winding below mountains and skirting missile bases CAN lead to beautiful beaches.
• Measuring the time of the day by where the sun is in relation to your hat brim is probably not very accurate.
• Measuring alcohol content by the number of seconds poured is probably not very accurate.
• "Beautiful Beach" does not mean "beach you should swim at."

STATISTICS:
Mai Tais Consumed: 9
"POG Tais" Consumed (A drink we invented out of POG--a canned mix of Orange, Passion and Guava juice--and rum): 2
Lava Flows Consumed (yummy strawberry pina coladas): 2
Missed turns because Kauai insists on uni-directional street signs: Countless
Malasadas: only 3 (sniff, sniff)
Fruitless Malasada Hunts: 1 (but we did manage to find a skewer of stale donut holes...)
Beaches Visited: 9
Hours spent in Sun: approximately 43
Avg Bed Time: 9:30 to 10pm
Avg Hours of sleep per night: 9
How many pages read during the entire length of my beachy vacation: 5
Number of Waves Successfully Surfed: 8
Meals consisting of fresh fish: 5 (as much opa and opakapa as we could get)
No of cute items bought in surf stores: 4
Sunsets Watched: 1
Coconuts Drank: 1
Mosquito Bites: 7 big ones
Caves Explored via inner tube: 5
Waterfalls: Countess--the northern short is full of mountains which in turn are full of waterfalls.

On another note, Kauai has made it on to some of my "best of all time" lists.

The following Beaches are now on my "Best Beaches of All Time" list:
Polihale Beach is now number one,
Tunnels Beach is in the number two position.
Ke'e Beach is number three.

The following Mai-Tais are now on my "Best Tropical Drinks of All Time" List:
Duke's Blended Mai-tai is in the number 3 position
Zelo's Mai-tai is in the number 4 position
Waimea Brew Co's Mai-tai is number 5.