Aloha!

So, I just got back from a fantastic vacation in Kauai. It was so much fun, I don't know where to begin. So I will break it out in outline form.

LESSONS LEARNED

• One uses more gas when climbing mountains than when driving around on flat land. One should check their gas gauge more frequently in such situations.
• It is difficult to catch a sunset in Kauai.
• Coconut milk does not taste good.
• High-way turns offs don't always make sense in Kauai.
• There ARE mosquitoes in Kauai and they DO NOT only come out at night.
• Even the most terrible of rain storms in Kauai don't last long.
• Frommer's Book of Tropical Adventures should be called The Book of Tropical Lies.
• Mana is not the bustling metropolis that The Book of Tropical Lies suggests.
• Barking Sands beach is not available to tourists, as the US Missile Base lives there.
• One cannot chill sodas by burying them in the sand and hoping that the 80 degree water will occasionally pour over it.
• Cute Fruit stands are operated by b*tchy blonds who sell sour pineapples.
• Roosters and Hens love Kauai. They also love the Private.
• 10' Foam Long boards are VERY heavy.
• Surfing is not only hard on your arms (from all that damn paddling) it also really hurts your ribs and stomach.
• "Looking to the shore" really can keep you balanced.
• Traveling along miles of dirt road winding below mountains and skirting missile bases CAN lead to beautiful beaches.
• Measuring the time of the day by where the sun is in relation to your hat brim is probably not very accurate.
• Measuring alcohol content by the number of seconds poured is probably not very accurate.
• "Beautiful Beach" does not mean "beach you should swim at."

STATISTICS:
Mai Tais Consumed: 9
"POG Tais" Consumed (A drink we invented out of POG--a canned mix of Orange, Passion and Guava juice--and rum): 2
Lava Flows Consumed (yummy strawberry pina coladas): 2
Missed turns because Kauai insists on uni-directional street signs: Countless
Malasadas: only 3 (sniff, sniff)
Fruitless Malasada Hunts: 1 (but we did manage to find a skewer of stale donut holes...)
Beaches Visited: 9
Hours spent in Sun: approximately 43
Avg Bed Time: 9:30 to 10pm
Avg Hours of sleep per night: 9
How many pages read during the entire length of my beachy vacation: 5
Number of Waves Successfully Surfed: 8
Meals consisting of fresh fish: 5 (as much opa and opakapa as we could get)
No of cute items bought in surf stores: 4
Sunsets Watched: 1
Coconuts Drank: 1
Mosquito Bites: 7 big ones
Caves Explored via inner tube: 5
Waterfalls: Countess--the northern short is full of mountains which in turn are full of waterfalls.

On another note, Kauai has made it on to some of my "best of all time" lists.

The following Beaches are now on my "Best Beaches of All Time" list:
Polihale Beach is now number one,
Tunnels Beach is in the number two position.
Ke'e Beach is number three.

The following Mai-Tais are now on my "Best Tropical Drinks of All Time" List:
Duke's Blended Mai-tai is in the number 3 position
Zelo's Mai-tai is in the number 4 position
Waimea Brew Co's Mai-tai is number 5.