End of the Trust Fund Days

Tomorrow is my first day working as a nurse. It's my first time working full time in awhile. The last time I worked in a real, full-time job, as part of my previous career, was the beginning of summer 2006. Though I didn't work last year, the program was "accelerated" and the hours made it feel like two full time jobs. But the past two months have been the opposite. Because the masters program isn't accelerated, for the past two months, my only regular obligations were class on Wednesday evening and Thursday evening. That's it. That meant every weekend was a five day weekend. Which meant I had so much free time that I got very little done. I read books, I became very nocturnal, and I "met" and fell in love with Edward Cullen. I occasionally worked out and I've been doing some dating. Which has actually been really fun.

The other day I went shopping with my friend AP. I was complaining about how I had to get up at 9 AM and his response was an exasperated, "It's cause you're living the life of a trust fund baby!" Sort of true, just minus the trust fund part. And that is the one thing that will be good about starting to work tomorrow. Money. For the first time, in a long while, I will be making money and not just borrowing it.

And so begins my career as a nurse. Keep your fingers crossed I don't kill anyone.

Life Recap

So, it's been awhile. First I was just busy to write, then I felt guilty about not having written in so long. Then today, it just felt right. So here I am.

Some quick updates:
I graduated from the first part of my program
I went to Kenya
I took (and passed) the RN licensure exam
I turned 30 and celebrated it in Vegas
I spent almost 2 months reading, lounging and sleeping. It was sinful and luxurious and I am sad it has to stop.

I start working on Monday

I am not looking forward to being a grown up again

I am in the Masters program

I started writing creatively....we'll see what comes of that

AND, I am dating again. People, in general. Well men, specifically. We'll see what comes of that too....

Now that we're all caught up, maybe I'll be better about writing in here again.

OH MY GOD

Why do we do things that we know aren't good for us? Or, why do we choose to do things less good for us when we know there are better options??

Here are some examples of this in my life.

I KNOW I feel so good after I work out. And I'm generally good about doing so regularly, but I usually don't want to. And I often find reasons not to. Why???

I KNOW the kinds of guys I should avoid getting involved with. I know it so well I could write a book about it. And I think I give (or am capable of giving) pretty good advice to others about how to avoid these very guys. But sometimes I continue to make bad decisions. Why???

I KNOW I like to do well in school. And I know I hate to be up late the new night before an exam cramming. I plan to do a little bit of work each day. I spend many minutes figuring out the best way to organize my time most efficiently. Then I proceed to not follow my well-calculated plan and spend the night before the exam cramming. Why???

I used to think that you get smarter as you get older. And in many ways you do. You see, I am now smart enough to know that I do these things. I am smart enough to know that these behavioral patterns typically involve some sort of self-lie. Some sort of whispered non-truth along the lines of, "Working out tomorrow before school is better than doing it tonight," and "Maybe that 26 year old bartender really isn't just looking to get some." Yes, I am smart enough to know that this happens somewhere in my head at some point on that slippery slope. I am even aware of the psychology behind WHY I do some of these things. But I am still not smart enough to NOT do them.

When does that happen? When do you get smart enough to start acting smart all the time??

Last week I was walking with a friend and across the street a woman sitting at the bus stop spontaneously yelled out loud to no one in particular, "OH MY GOD!" It was exactly the kind of thing I feel like doing sometimes.

The Big City Frog

Yesterday I went out in to the suburbs to go to Target. The funny thing is I was REALLY excited about the trip. Not because I love Target and not because I get to shop (I literally have no extra money to spend at all). But because the trip meant I got to drive and I got to go to the suburbs!

Living in the middle of a big city has been interesting. I never thought I lived in a suburban environment before. While I did technically not live in LA proper, it didn’t feel like I was living in the suburbs. I was living in crowded areas and sometimes in places where parking is hard to find. There were people all around, businesses all around, freeways near-by. No, it wasn’t downtown LA but it wasn’t quite like Wisteria Lane either. But now that I live in the heart of B’more, I am discovering the differences. There are good and bad things about living in the middle of a city.

The Good
It is easy to walk everywhere
It is easy to grab a taxi when you don’t want to walk.
There are great restaurants, bars, boutique near-by.
Friends are just down the street.

The Bad
It gets tiring walking everywhere.
I don’t get to drive as much.
It’s hard to find parking when you do need to drive.
The comfort of chains and suburban America is far away.

Lately, it’s been over 90 degrees each day. The AC is hiked up inside every building. Regardless of the heat outside, I always get cold inside. But walking around everywhere, lugging your inside jacket and everything else you need for the day means you sweat a lot. I have a 5 block walk home every day. It’s up a slight hill and in the sun. By the time I get to my apartment I am usually very grumpy. Especially if I had to carry large, expensive, brand new, nursing text books on the journey.

Yesterday, as I was going to my car to drive to suburban Baltimore, I was excited. Excited that I got to drive. Excited that I got to experience the familiarity of the suburbs. Excited that I wouldn’t be driving in congested streets where pedestrians are always j-walking and the potholes are bigger then me. Excited that I got to be on the expressway. Excited that I got to park in a non-parallel spot in front of the store I want to go into.

Yes, I guess I’m more suburban than I thought. And that thought made me miss home.

The Frog is a Toddler!

Hey, guess what? March marks the two year anniversary of this blog. Happy blog-iversary to me and my secret online reptilian persona!