California-itis

Each year, for the past few years, I have gotten bronchitis or a bronchitis-like respiratory illness in the fall. This past fall, not only did I not get one, but I didn't even get a cold. Which was amazing considering: a) my stress levels and irregular sleep patterns b) the amount of time I spend in hospitals around sick people, and c) that I now live in a much colder environment requiring bundling when you're outside and heat when you're in. When I was home for Christmas, I realized all this, and smugly gave myself a virtual pat on the back for being healthy.

By the time I got on my red-eye back to B'more, I had the first signs of a cough. And I blamed Southern California.

My cough ran its course and by early to mid-January it was gone for the most part.

But then...I got a bad cold. I thought maybe it was just an encore presentation of my Cali-induced winter cough. A little perk for going out dancing before I was actually ready for such activities. Whatever it was, it went away last week.

But then...I started coughing again. Last night, in fact.

I'd like to continue thinking that my theory still stands. That I don't get sick in MD and that this is merely a continuation of my So Cal Disease. But the half nurse in me knows that is probably not true. Maybe karma is giving me a little kick for wrongfully assuming that the life I lead here is healthy.

OH MY GOD

Why do we do things that we know aren't good for us? Or, why do we choose to do things less good for us when we know there are better options??

Here are some examples of this in my life.

I KNOW I feel so good after I work out. And I'm generally good about doing so regularly, but I usually don't want to. And I often find reasons not to. Why???

I KNOW the kinds of guys I should avoid getting involved with. I know it so well I could write a book about it. And I think I give (or am capable of giving) pretty good advice to others about how to avoid these very guys. But sometimes I continue to make bad decisions. Why???

I KNOW I like to do well in school. And I know I hate to be up late the new night before an exam cramming. I plan to do a little bit of work each day. I spend many minutes figuring out the best way to organize my time most efficiently. Then I proceed to not follow my well-calculated plan and spend the night before the exam cramming. Why???

I used to think that you get smarter as you get older. And in many ways you do. You see, I am now smart enough to know that I do these things. I am smart enough to know that these behavioral patterns typically involve some sort of self-lie. Some sort of whispered non-truth along the lines of, "Working out tomorrow before school is better than doing it tonight," and "Maybe that 26 year old bartender really isn't just looking to get some." Yes, I am smart enough to know that this happens somewhere in my head at some point on that slippery slope. I am even aware of the psychology behind WHY I do some of these things. But I am still not smart enough to NOT do them.

When does that happen? When do you get smart enough to start acting smart all the time??

Last week I was walking with a friend and across the street a woman sitting at the bus stop spontaneously yelled out loud to no one in particular, "OH MY GOD!" It was exactly the kind of thing I feel like doing sometimes.

Song of the Moment

Do you ever stumble across a song that describes your current mood perfectly? So perfectly that you just want to crawl up inside the song and be a part of it? Because nothing else gets you as much as that song does???

Yes, these are the thoughts of a burnt out student who would rather do anything but study...