Waiting

I am so nervous.

My Heavy Heart

I've been meaning to post again for days but am only getting around to it now. So i am writing this from my phone as I sit in yet another training meeting....I have much to share about SG. First, I just like him so much. We had a great weekend together. But i don't want to talk too much about how great he is and how much fun we have because it might all be ending soon. Circumstances beyond my control may mean a long and/or permanent break soon. And this makes me extremely sad. I'll know more in a couple of weeks but already two days have been difficult. It doesn't help that we live an hour away, that I'm working 60 hours this week, that we won't get to see eachother this weekend, and that I'm me and have over-thinking tendencies. I'll know more on Friday, 11/21. If the news is good, he'll be visting me the next day. If things are bad, I'm not sure if/when I'll see him again.
My heart feels heavy and I want to fast forward time.

Scottish Guy

I am completely twitterpated with a boy we'll call Scottish Guy (SG). We met two weeks ago and had our second date last night.

That's all I can say because I don't want to jinx it.

There's nothing I don't like about him.

End of the Trust Fund Days

Tomorrow is my first day working as a nurse. It's my first time working full time in awhile. The last time I worked in a real, full-time job, as part of my previous career, was the beginning of summer 2006. Though I didn't work last year, the program was "accelerated" and the hours made it feel like two full time jobs. But the past two months have been the opposite. Because the masters program isn't accelerated, for the past two months, my only regular obligations were class on Wednesday evening and Thursday evening. That's it. That meant every weekend was a five day weekend. Which meant I had so much free time that I got very little done. I read books, I became very nocturnal, and I "met" and fell in love with Edward Cullen. I occasionally worked out and I've been doing some dating. Which has actually been really fun.

The other day I went shopping with my friend AP. I was complaining about how I had to get up at 9 AM and his response was an exasperated, "It's cause you're living the life of a trust fund baby!" Sort of true, just minus the trust fund part. And that is the one thing that will be good about starting to work tomorrow. Money. For the first time, in a long while, I will be making money and not just borrowing it.

And so begins my career as a nurse. Keep your fingers crossed I don't kill anyone.

Life Recap

So, it's been awhile. First I was just busy to write, then I felt guilty about not having written in so long. Then today, it just felt right. So here I am.

Some quick updates:
I graduated from the first part of my program
I went to Kenya
I took (and passed) the RN licensure exam
I turned 30 and celebrated it in Vegas
I spent almost 2 months reading, lounging and sleeping. It was sinful and luxurious and I am sad it has to stop.

I start working on Monday

I am not looking forward to being a grown up again

I am in the Masters program

I started writing creatively....we'll see what comes of that

AND, I am dating again. People, in general. Well men, specifically. We'll see what comes of that too....

Now that we're all caught up, maybe I'll be better about writing in here again.

Disorganization!

My biggest pet peeve in the whole wide world: disorganization.

(But only when I'm working with disorganized people on something important. I don't care if you are personally disorganized. But if you are disorganized and we're working together, than I am VERY grumpy. This could be problematic as I move towards a healthcare career...)

Semester almost over....then I'll write about these craptastic past few months and the only two good things that happened during them: Guatemala and the visit from my mother.

Over and out.

Guatemala!

I am SO excited! I am going to Guatemala for spring break. We're doing a family-homestay language immersion thing for the first part of the week and then we're going to the jungle to see the Mayan ruins at Tikal.

I'm thrilled that I have an international trip to look forward to, especially since I had planned on doing the international program through school but recently decided against it. (They did not have the kind of thing I was looking for and it was not worth the cost, given that.)

To help pay for this trip, I recently got a job as a Research Assistant working with infectious diseases. And I LOVE infectious diseases.

YAY for my job and YAY for my travel plans.

Laugh!

If you don't laugh when you watch this, or at least smile, then you are a coldhearted unfeeling human being.

Cake Love

I just learned about this and it's very exciting because officially, I'm pro-cupcake (and cake).

That Kind of Week

It's that week....that week during the semester when you feel like there is no possible way to get everything done. The kind of week full of group projects resting entirely on your shoulders. The kind of week full of trying to forget someone you know you need to say good-bye to. The kind of week that you hope never happens again, though you know it probably will. Soon.

Yay, yay, school is fun.

If I survive, I get to go to NYC this weekend! It will be great but it also poses some challenges for the work looming ahead next week...but that is okay because I have my babysitting money all saved up, and I have a pretty shirt to wear. I am very easy to please.

My Baby Girl

This week I spent two days working with a very sick baby girl. In fact, I called her “Baby Girl” the entire time I was with her so that will be her nickname here too. I can’t go in to too many details (because of the law), but I will say that she is pretty sick, but it is likely that she will be okay. Despite her medical conditions, she is alert, responsive, and adorable. She’s been in the hospital since she was born. Her parents are young, not married, big smokers and not very involved in her life. They didn’t see her the entire two days I was there. She craves contact from people and seems hungry for attention. I got her to smile for me and after awhile she seemed to recognize me (I was probably the only constant thing in her life for 48 hours). And because of all the above, I completely fell in love with her. The problem with this situation is that I’m too connected. I keep thinking about her (and crying) and wanting to go see her. But I can’t. She’s not my baby girl. All I can do is hope a good life for her.

She might be the first patient I’ve had that is really going to stick with me. I wonder if I’ll remember her forever.

Mitch Albom’s book, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, is about the people you meet when you die, to help you process what your life was about. They aren’t necessarily the people you remember as important to you, or even people you remember at all. They are just 5 random people that influenced the shape of “you” in some way. I didn’t love the book or necessarily buy in to the concept, but it was an interesting idea that I’ve never forgotten.

If that is how life and death work, maybe, in some small way, I would be one of those people for this Baby Girl.