Explanation to Follow
The keys in the front door of my apartment are wrong. They are backwards. You have to turn the lock into the door jam to open it. And then the door sticks. Usually I try to unlock both locks and in the process relock them. Then when I finally do unlock them (for reals), the door sticks and makes me think I really didn’t unlock them in the first place. I try it again before I figure it out. Five minutes later the door finally is open. Monday was the first time that I opened both my locks without even thinking about it. I celebrated with…reading a chapter in one of my text books.
It is almost the end of the second week of school and some things (like how my door works!) are starting to click. I don’t have to think every minute about where I’m supposed to be and what I should be doing. My body has adjusted to appreciating six hours of sleep, satisfying adrenaline-induced hunger with what is cheap and backpack friendly, and feeling clear-headed only if I spend time with the treadmill.
Since living here I’ve eaten a lot of Indian take-out. It’s lasted longer than my normal food obsessions. I crave Indian food like it’s water. I can’t get enough of it. Which got me thinking…when I studied abroad in England I ate Indian food all the time. It filled the void that Mexican food occupied in my So Cal life. While I can still get Mexican food here in lovely B’more, I want Indian more. I wonder if my Indian cravings tap into some sort of conditioned you-are-away-from-home-but-will-survive neurological pathway from my time in the UK. Whatever the reason, I want it more than I can afford to buy it. So I’ve started to cook it myself! It’s not as good but it fills the need. For now.
So I’ve got my Indian food habits in place and my door unlocks with ease. It’s all coming together right? That’s how I felt on Monday. But then Tuesday hit and everything felt like it was falling apart. And by “everything” I really mean that school was hard that day. We had a crazy three hour lecture that left me staring at the prof--jaw dropped, eyes wide, peripheral blood vessels vasoconstricted (pale skin) all to non-verbally convey the expression: you’ve got to be kidding. The prof kept talking about things we didn’t understand and when we questioned it, her answer was, “I’ll explain later.”
Today was better then yesterday. We talked about how to give a male patient a bed bath. Someone asked what to do if the man gets “turned on.” We all laughed because every single one of us—girl and guy alike—wondered the same thing. We were instructed, in that situation, to act as though it weren’t a big deal, tell him something to the effect of, “It happens all the time,” and save any school-girl giggling until we’re safely in the lounge with our nurse friends.
When I left school the sky was dark. There was thunder, lighting and torrential rain. My friends and I missed the shuttle bus by seconds and got drenched. Cars drove by and splashed us with the puddles on the side of the road. We laughed through our shivering. All the laughter was good.
All the things that weren’t explained still haven’t been, but for the second time I was able to unlock my door with ease.
Today was better then yesterday. That is what matters.
It is almost the end of the second week of school and some things (like how my door works!) are starting to click. I don’t have to think every minute about where I’m supposed to be and what I should be doing. My body has adjusted to appreciating six hours of sleep, satisfying adrenaline-induced hunger with what is cheap and backpack friendly, and feeling clear-headed only if I spend time with the treadmill.
Since living here I’ve eaten a lot of Indian take-out. It’s lasted longer than my normal food obsessions. I crave Indian food like it’s water. I can’t get enough of it. Which got me thinking…when I studied abroad in England I ate Indian food all the time. It filled the void that Mexican food occupied in my So Cal life. While I can still get Mexican food here in lovely B’more, I want Indian more. I wonder if my Indian cravings tap into some sort of conditioned you-are-away-from-home-but-will-survive neurological pathway from my time in the UK. Whatever the reason, I want it more than I can afford to buy it. So I’ve started to cook it myself! It’s not as good but it fills the need. For now.
So I’ve got my Indian food habits in place and my door unlocks with ease. It’s all coming together right? That’s how I felt on Monday. But then Tuesday hit and everything felt like it was falling apart. And by “everything” I really mean that school was hard that day. We had a crazy three hour lecture that left me staring at the prof--jaw dropped, eyes wide, peripheral blood vessels vasoconstricted (pale skin) all to non-verbally convey the expression: you’ve got to be kidding. The prof kept talking about things we didn’t understand and when we questioned it, her answer was, “I’ll explain later.”
Today was better then yesterday. We talked about how to give a male patient a bed bath. Someone asked what to do if the man gets “turned on.” We all laughed because every single one of us—girl and guy alike—wondered the same thing. We were instructed, in that situation, to act as though it weren’t a big deal, tell him something to the effect of, “It happens all the time,” and save any school-girl giggling until we’re safely in the lounge with our nurse friends.
When I left school the sky was dark. There was thunder, lighting and torrential rain. My friends and I missed the shuttle bus by seconds and got drenched. Cars drove by and splashed us with the puddles on the side of the road. We laughed through our shivering. All the laughter was good.
All the things that weren’t explained still haven’t been, but for the second time I was able to unlock my door with ease.
Today was better then yesterday. That is what matters.
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