To Save or not to Save

The other day I was talking with a friend about how long one should keep an ex's contact info programmed in their cell phone. Now that cell-phone usage is so common and because they allow you to store numbers in by a person's Name, erasing someone's cell phone number can be a big deal--it can be cutting off your connection to them entirely. Often times, I erase a guys number in a passive aggressive attempt to "delete" them from my life ("yeah, I showed you!"). But with guys I've had more interaction with, sometimes I'm afraid to remove them. What if I need to get a hold of them? What if something important happens after we break up that they need to know about??

I deleted my ex-BF, MS, from my cell phone not long after he dumped me. But in a moment of panic before hitting "delete," I wrote down his cell and contact info on a piece of paper. I stored this piece of paper, along with all the gifts he gave me and all the things I had that reminded me of him, in a box in our dining room closet for almost a year. In April, I finally was ready to throw away almost all of the box including the number. But even then there was still a small trace of panic. This was my last connection to him....But I figurered at this point, there's probably not much of a reason I would need to get a hold of him. And if I did, there are always ways to reach him through friends of friends.

But a new situation has arisen lately: what do you do with the numbers of guys you don't like and don't want to stay involved with?? You may wonder why I'm even asking this. If I don't care to keep in touch, why would I ever consider keeping them in my cell phone at all, right?

Well here is a little story that might explain why:
Once upon a time, there was a lovely single girl in her mid-upper 20's who went out to bars a lot and met many guys. One night while Karaoke-ing, she met a guy who was just barely 21. He looked older than that, but really, that was his age. He was very excited about taking her out and called lots (twice the very next day in fact). She was unsure what to do and was leaning towards not going out with him. While figuring out what to do, she was sort of unofficially avoiding his calls. And then,,,a call came in on her cell phone. It was a number she didn't recognize but it was in an area code where several people she knows lives. Taking an unknown number is always a risk, but she went for it. And it happened to be the wily 21 year old! He tricked her into answering the phone!

So while it might be a good thing to remove boys you've moved on from, sometimes it's good to keep the boys you're NOT interested in programmed in your phone. Just to protect against this kind of trickery.

Here are two examples from my life where this has helped:

Barista G: He continues to call and text message. If I had deleted him from my cell phone, I wouldn't know it was him calling and I might accidentally be tricked into answering the phone and talking to him!

The Little Baby Marine: Periodically, I get a late-night "booty-text" from him. He lives in San Diego so I imagine the texts come in on nights where he happens to be visiting his friends in HB. At 1:45 this past Sunday morning I got another text message from him saying, "What's up Girlie?" If I didn't have a past text message from him saved in my phone, I would not have figured out who this text message was from and I might be led to wonder "who is this? is it PB???" and then I might call it. I have since added the little baby marine's number in my phone as "Baby Marine" to avoid such future catastrophes.

Who to keep? Who not to keep? Who do you want to talk to? Who do you want to avoid? Who do you want to avoid drunk dialing?? It's a fine line, but save wisely. You never know when someone will trick you into talking to them.