Oscillating Realities
Well I survived last week. KA came as planned and I had a fantastic time. I’m sort of in love with New England. The Berkshires (Northwest corner of Massachusetts) and southwestern Vermont are stunning. We were only there for a weekend but those two days were full of big puffy clouds, gorgeous rolling hills of fall-colored trees, and scattered picture perfect farms. KA and I drove around, exploring and stopping for things like apple picking and having a beer break while sitting on a lake. I know that New England gets a bad rap for winter weather, and I might love it less were I to experience one, but as of right now, I am ready to move up there.
It was also really wonderful to have someone from home visit. It was strange though… my life now is so drastically different from my life in Southern California. Sometimes it feels awkward to oscillate between them. I never got to really write it about this before but when I went home at the end of the summer, being back there made me feel like my life in Baltimore was just a dream. Like it didn’t really exist except for in my head, or like it was a book I read about someone else’s life. While it felt good to be back at home where everything felt naturally “right,” I didn’t like the fact that the life I had worked so hard to create in Baltimore just suddenly felt non-existent. I think it’s because at home, in LA, there is so little cross over to my reality here. And it made me sad…no one at home really knows anything about my life here. Sure, they know what I tell them and they see the pictures I share, but they have absolutely no part of it. And that’s isolating. Normal, but isolating.
I so dreaded coming back here at the end of my So Cal trip, but once I got back here, I was glad to be back and it felt good that it felt like home. This semester has been incredibly better than last semester. The classes are better, my rotations are better, everything is more in sync. But today I am missing home a bit and I’m sad I won’t be going home for thanksgiving.
Regardless of all this introspective nonsense, I had a fantastic time this weekend seeing a new part of the US and hanging out with KA, and I can’t wait for HBo to visit in November!
Coming later this week: some updated stories to share about my adventures in Labor and Delivery!
It was also really wonderful to have someone from home visit. It was strange though… my life now is so drastically different from my life in Southern California. Sometimes it feels awkward to oscillate between them. I never got to really write it about this before but when I went home at the end of the summer, being back there made me feel like my life in Baltimore was just a dream. Like it didn’t really exist except for in my head, or like it was a book I read about someone else’s life. While it felt good to be back at home where everything felt naturally “right,” I didn’t like the fact that the life I had worked so hard to create in Baltimore just suddenly felt non-existent. I think it’s because at home, in LA, there is so little cross over to my reality here. And it made me sad…no one at home really knows anything about my life here. Sure, they know what I tell them and they see the pictures I share, but they have absolutely no part of it. And that’s isolating. Normal, but isolating.
I so dreaded coming back here at the end of my So Cal trip, but once I got back here, I was glad to be back and it felt good that it felt like home. This semester has been incredibly better than last semester. The classes are better, my rotations are better, everything is more in sync. But today I am missing home a bit and I’m sad I won’t be going home for thanksgiving.
Regardless of all this introspective nonsense, I had a fantastic time this weekend seeing a new part of the US and hanging out with KA, and I can’t wait for HBo to visit in November!
Coming later this week: some updated stories to share about my adventures in Labor and Delivery!
posted by Follow the Frog at 5:32 PM
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