The Secret of the Pound Puppy

I've decided to share a secret with you. This is something that may make some of you think that I am silly and weird. But I am a little silly and weird, so I am going to take my chances and tell you anyway. This is the story of Toby.

I got a lot of toys and stuffed animals growing up. Whenever I got a new doll/animal/toy, it would become my favorite and any old favorite would be put on a shelf to sit quietly while I played with whatever was most new. This happened many, many times until the day I got a Pound Puppy named Toby. Toby was better then them all. Toby stuck.

I got Toby when I was 7 or 8. We were living in Taipei at the time and were visiting the US for the summer. Pound Puppies had just hit the market. I didn't even know about them until we went to this brand new, oddly-named store called Target. One of the aisles had these dog stuffed animals (and probably some eye-catching marketing material). I saw them and wanted one, but when I asked my mom she just sighed and said, "No." Why? Because I already had SO many things I didn't play with.

Later on in the trip I had some dental work done that required me to be put under. I came out from my anaesthesia-induced sleep to see my mom looking at me on the verge of tears. I looked pale, and the bloody gauze made things seem much worse then they were. The first thing she said to me was, "I'll buy you a pound puppy and whatever else you want!" So, I got a Denny's hot fudge sundae and Toby.

Toby has traveled the world with me. I even made him a passport and convinced immigration officers all over Asia to stamp the green construction-paper booklet with his hand-drawn picture in it. I once accidentally dropped him on the floor of a VERY dirty bus on a rainy night in Indonesia. I once accidentally left him in a hotel in Utah. Fortunately, the kind hotel people boxed him up and shipped him back to me.

When I had Toby for awhile I asked my mom when I wouldn't want him any more. She said something like, "One day you won't need him and then you won't be sad to let him go." Well that never really happened. I still have him and he is still on my bed. Certainly I don't NEED him now, and I sleep many many nights without him (he no longer has an active passport!), but I am used to him and I like having him around. It is nostalgic and comforting. Occasionally, especially during moves, I find myself wondering about that day when I have to stop having him around. The idea still makes me kind of sad.

Maybe Toby has become that last bit of "childhood" I am refusing to let go of.