The Orchid Killer

I've had a subtle, long-term fascination with orchids. Actually, not so much with the plant themselves but more with the art of trying to get them to RE-bloom. I do think they're lovely--in a very elegant and graceful way--but really, the obsession comes from trying to get those elegant, graceful blooms to grow again. During the past five years of having orchids, I've become really good at keeping them alive. Which is a big step for me. And within the last year, I've managed to actually see some real growth (by way of new leaves and stalks) in my three plants.

But the other day I noticed one of my orchid plants was starting to die. In an effort to stop whatever the cause of death may have been, I tried watering it more. And when that didn't work, I tried watering less. If the plant wasn't really dying, then the pattern of flooding it followed by draught definitely solidified its end. And as I wistfully tossed it into the garbage, I reflected on why I had this plant.

I bought this particular orchid when my dumb ex broke up with me. It was sort of a "you-were-just-dumped-but-you-will-survive-and-this-lovely-plant-will-help-symbolize-that" kind of purchase. It was all covered with small multicolored burgundy flowers, and like most store bought orchids it was beautiful for the first couple of months. And then the flowers fell. But I kept it and hoped that it would bloom again. Because, you know the plant was a symbol of me.

Then last week it died. As I took the plant out of it's terra cotta pot and wistfully tossed it into the garbage the other night, I rationalized its death by thinking, "hey, one less thing to bring with me to the new apartment." But then because I like to find meaning in all things, I took my thinking one step further. The plant died right before I move to a NEW apartment. This new apartment has no memory tied to it of my dumb ex or any other mistakes (the people kind or the standard kind). It is a clean slate, all shiny and new and ready for me to fill it with new ones. And in that respect, it is good the orchid died.