The Boy, Not the City
Portland comes to town on Friday. For the past few weeks I have not been as excited about it as I was right after I met him. And I admit, much of the reason I wasn't excited is because I was distracted by CMB (who is BAD BAD BAD). But I have been trying to be less into CMB and more excited about Portland. And I continue to remind myself about how much fun I have with Portland (in person). And now...I am excited. Not TOTALLY EXCITED, but excited. And that is better than ambivalent.
I'm not sure I ever told the story of Portland on here, so here goes.
Right after the dumb ex broke up with me in early summer 2004, my BFF asked me if I wanted to go with her to Portland to visit her sister. I wanted to do anything that took my mind off the dumb-ex and my new singleness, so I said yes and booked a flight. We stayed with her sister, J, who at the time lived with her boyfriend, S, and his two friends, in a big hippy house in the Portland suburbs. It was a strange weekend for many reasons, some of which include the following: 1) They were all hippies (or hippy wannabees) and we aren't. 2) They live in a big messy house run by young 20-something hippy boys. Cleanliness was a factor. 3) They liked to do hippy things...like drink Pabst Blue Ribbon around a fire. We wanted to wear high heels and get our groove on, while sipping martinis downtown. 4) Three weeks after the break up, I was still in a strange place about the ex and myself and boys in general.
Enter Portland (the boy, not the city). He was one of the roommates. He was nice and funny and interested. And the attention was a good distraction. Until I freaked out all of a sudden about him and I and us and the fact that he wasn't the ex and what was I doing?!?! And then I got cold and distant because...I didn't want his affection or his attention. I never explained to him why I all of a sudden pulled away, and I always kind of felt bad about being spontaneously bitchy. But then I never thought I'd see him again...
Fast forward to September 2006. J and S got married, and Portland (the boy, not the city) was a best man. I knew ahead of time he'd be there, and I thought it would be best to be friendly and cordial. But then I saw him in his suit and he looked nice! And then we chatted and he was nice! And funny and sweet! And then I decided to apologize for my odd behavior two years earlier. So I did and he was so cool about everything.
Then we talked and danced and laughed together. And then we hung out the next day. And then I started to have a crush on him. And now he's coming to LA and my heart is partially consumed with feelings for another (bad bad bad) boy.
I am going to put all my energy into enjoying this weekend with Portland.
Because the last thing I want to do is to be distant and cold with him (again) for no apparent reason.
And there you have it. The story of Portland (the boy, not the city).
I'm not sure I ever told the story of Portland on here, so here goes.
Right after the dumb ex broke up with me in early summer 2004, my BFF asked me if I wanted to go with her to Portland to visit her sister. I wanted to do anything that took my mind off the dumb-ex and my new singleness, so I said yes and booked a flight. We stayed with her sister, J, who at the time lived with her boyfriend, S, and his two friends, in a big hippy house in the Portland suburbs. It was a strange weekend for many reasons, some of which include the following: 1) They were all hippies (or hippy wannabees) and we aren't. 2) They live in a big messy house run by young 20-something hippy boys. Cleanliness was a factor. 3) They liked to do hippy things...like drink Pabst Blue Ribbon around a fire. We wanted to wear high heels and get our groove on, while sipping martinis downtown. 4) Three weeks after the break up, I was still in a strange place about the ex and myself and boys in general.
Enter Portland (the boy, not the city). He was one of the roommates. He was nice and funny and interested. And the attention was a good distraction. Until I freaked out all of a sudden about him and I and us and the fact that he wasn't the ex and what was I doing?!?! And then I got cold and distant because...I didn't want his affection or his attention. I never explained to him why I all of a sudden pulled away, and I always kind of felt bad about being spontaneously bitchy. But then I never thought I'd see him again...
Fast forward to September 2006. J and S got married, and Portland (the boy, not the city) was a best man. I knew ahead of time he'd be there, and I thought it would be best to be friendly and cordial. But then I saw him in his suit and he looked nice! And then we chatted and he was nice! And funny and sweet! And then I decided to apologize for my odd behavior two years earlier. So I did and he was so cool about everything.
Then we talked and danced and laughed together. And then we hung out the next day. And then I started to have a crush on him. And now he's coming to LA and my heart is partially consumed with feelings for another (bad bad bad) boy.
I am going to put all my energy into enjoying this weekend with Portland.
Because the last thing I want to do is to be distant and cold with him (again) for no apparent reason.
And there you have it. The story of Portland (the boy, not the city).
posted by Follow the Frog at 5:11 PM
2 Comments:
It's hard to get excited to see someone that you haven't seen in a while. I think once he arrives and you start to hang out you'll remember why you like him. Any hopefully feelings for CMD will begin to fade...
You seem to be in a good place about it so have fun! That's what it's all about =)
Nikki C: I can't post comments on your blog! I've tried several times now. If you email me (followthefrog@gmail.com) I'll give you the low-down on CMB.
FTF
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