Please Approve this New Life
I wanted to be a doctor all my life. Then I got to college and at some point decided that marketing would be a more easy, more fun, more exciting, lucrative-enough field. I think this decision started happening at the end of my first quarter when I was trying to teach myself Calculus 32B because my horrible, non-English-speaking prof was interested only in the research possibilities of a UCLA position and not at all keen on helping me figure out the theory behind why the function of x approaches infinity. And there was also that cool, poorly timed Real World: Miami marathon on MTV....I really didn't want to miss that. And so I reacted in the way that any wide-eyed 18 year old recovering from a Phi Psi frat party would...I changed my career path.
And here I am today. Trying to change it back.
I am exhausted and overwhelmed at the moment with the implications of trying to make the switch. And all I want right now is for someone to just tell me I'm making the right decision.
Here's the evidence you could give me as to WHY I'm making the right decision, if you so choose to help comfort me in my time of angst:
And here I am today. Trying to change it back.
I am exhausted and overwhelmed at the moment with the implications of trying to make the switch. And all I want right now is for someone to just tell me I'm making the right decision.
Here's the evidence you could give me as to WHY I'm making the right decision, if you so choose to help comfort me in my time of angst:
- I've always wanted to work in medicine.
- I like helping people.
- I am tired of working in a field where I give nothing back to society.
- Money is great, but it's not everything. Day to day happiness is more important.
- Money will be tight and times will be stressful while I'm going to school, but it will be all worth it in the end.
- I can deal with a smaller salary while working my way up to becoming a Nurse Practitioner.
You may be wondering why I need someone to tell me I'm making the right decision when I (a) obviously already have a list of reasons and (b) don't usually care about and/or need other people's approval for such things. But today, because of everything else going on, I need approval.
On another note, my food obsession du jour is the egg salad sandwich. I don't like eggs that much (I only buy them if I'm making brownies), but I can't get enough of these bad boys. In fact I am having one for breakfast as I type. They are really high in fat but that is okay because I've got a lot of sh*t going on. Can anyone say "emotional eating?"
posted by Follow the Frog at 10:44 AM
5 Comments:
Having known you from your first days at college as a wide-eyed 18 year old, I am here to reassure. =)
First, you are far and away one of the most accomplished people I know (which is saying a lot as I feel I know many accomplished people!). This is by way of reassuring you that you will make it through all of this. I've never known you to not succeed once you've set your mind on something.
Second, I think you're in a much better place now than you were in college. You're more ready now. Being pre-med then would have probably meant not going to England your junior year, which I know has lead to some amazing experiences. It would have meant missing out on a lot of college experiences. It would have meant not having the fantastic work friends you have now. It would have meant less money and less time to do all the cool things you've done in your life. It's better to go back to school now that you're more focused and know exactly what you want and fully realize the sacrifices you'll be making to get there. It'll mean more.
Third, knowing the other options out there are always good and now you know that there are many, many options for you. You'll probably be happier in the medical field because you have something to compare it to and you know you always have an out. Having options means you're not confined and that you're doing it because you want to - not because you didn't know what else to do with a pre-med degree.
Fourth, you are definitely a nurturer and I think you've become more so over the years. I loved your 18 year old self, but that younger self was more self-absorbed and less self-aware (who wasn't at 18?). I think the qualities you've developed over the years, the empathy and compassion that comes with age and with experience, will make you a better nurse/doctor now.
Fifth, I think 18 is entirely too young to decide what you're going to do with the rest of your life and going back now has given you enough time know that medicine is really what you want to do - and to know that if it turns out not to be, you always have options. More importnatly, you know you're brave enough to choose something else.
Hope this helps. =)
Let me say, you are one of the most brave and dedicated person I know. Your in a place right now in life, where I feel you truly know what you want to do with a career. You've experienced sooo much and grown with each "happy" AND disappointing event. Go for your dream and NEVER give up. (you can always change your mind in the future, but at least you can always say, "I never gave up".) tlc
As someone who 'virtually' knows you -- lemme just say that wanting to help others is a very admirable quality. You can go home each night and say, "wow, I made a diff in so-and-so's life today." That's a feeling that no pay check (no matter how many zeros are in it) can match.
Now that ur outta college etc, you know what you want, and you know how badly you want it. Who/What is stopping you? No one. Only self-doubt -- and that's not the case here cuz like I said -- you already know what you want. So go for it and good luck! Just don't use 'studying' as an excuse to blog less. :-)
thanks LJ! It's fun having you as a my virtual friend.
Having studied medicine I have to tell you that you might think differently about becoming a doctor, when you have experienced the loss of someone's beloved. I did. The GP could have saved the person if he would have just checked the blood for cancer factors. I should have looked deeper in the books to try to explain certain symptoms. The feeling of regret, compassion and loss have totally changed my mind. Realize that you will be responsible for the loss of other's loved ones. If you can face that responsibility you are fit to become a doctor. If you can't, like me, I would recommend you another career
Post a Comment
<< Home