My Life, the Novel
I attribute too much meaning to things. All things. It's as though I'm in a literature class analyzing my unfolding life like it's a 5 act drama. It's a bad, silly habit that I do not take seriously. But on some level it makes me feel like there is meaning and structure to my role in this big wide world.
Of course, my life is much more mundane than the lives lived in great novels, and my literary approach to the circumstances I encounter never has me ponder things like "what might that guillotine symbolize?" or "does this ominous storm hovering over that dark and barren moor indicate great trouble ahead?"
Anyways, given this propensity, when I realized the other day that all my favorite plants are dying, I started to wonder....
Some of these plants have come to symbolize things to me. My little Ikea "tropical foliage," for example, was purchased immediately after the dumb ex dumped me. I am surprised I have been able to keep it alive for so long. I am more surprised that it continues to grow new branches. Each new leaf is somehow a tiny victory over being defeated by the dumb ex. And all the dumb exes for that matter. But now it's starting to die. It just doesn't seem to like our new apartment...
Another plant that is sort of important to me has less clear meaning but a more unique story. About a year and a half ago I was kicked out of my beautiful office to make way for a higher level (male) exec. He was nice enough to me, but he was fired before his probation period ended because of various intra-company personality conflicts. He had a beautiful orchid in his office that I always outwardly admired (in keeping with my semi-obsessesion), and as HR escorted him out on his last day he handed it to me with a gruff, "Here." I cared for this orchid since with fervor. And the orchid has grown lots! Until recently. After Christmas the biggest new stalk died. And on Monday the newest baby stalk died too. And today I realized with sad resignation that the whole thing seems to be dying.
The realist in me ponders potential causes like water and light. Maybe there was too much? Maybe too little? But the "literature student" in me can't help but think, "What does it all mean?" I KNOW of course that it is something related to the former. But maybe these plants dying symbolizes change ahead.
I am probably "reading" too much into this. But that is what I do. And it's a hell of a lot more fun then thinking "it needs more water."
Of course, my life is much more mundane than the lives lived in great novels, and my literary approach to the circumstances I encounter never has me ponder things like "what might that guillotine symbolize?" or "does this ominous storm hovering over that dark and barren moor indicate great trouble ahead?"
Anyways, given this propensity, when I realized the other day that all my favorite plants are dying, I started to wonder....
Some of these plants have come to symbolize things to me. My little Ikea "tropical foliage," for example, was purchased immediately after the dumb ex dumped me. I am surprised I have been able to keep it alive for so long. I am more surprised that it continues to grow new branches. Each new leaf is somehow a tiny victory over being defeated by the dumb ex. And all the dumb exes for that matter. But now it's starting to die. It just doesn't seem to like our new apartment...
Another plant that is sort of important to me has less clear meaning but a more unique story. About a year and a half ago I was kicked out of my beautiful office to make way for a higher level (male) exec. He was nice enough to me, but he was fired before his probation period ended because of various intra-company personality conflicts. He had a beautiful orchid in his office that I always outwardly admired (in keeping with my semi-obsessesion), and as HR escorted him out on his last day he handed it to me with a gruff, "Here." I cared for this orchid since with fervor. And the orchid has grown lots! Until recently. After Christmas the biggest new stalk died. And on Monday the newest baby stalk died too. And today I realized with sad resignation that the whole thing seems to be dying.
The realist in me ponders potential causes like water and light. Maybe there was too much? Maybe too little? But the "literature student" in me can't help but think, "What does it all mean?" I KNOW of course that it is something related to the former. But maybe these plants dying symbolizes change ahead.
I am probably "reading" too much into this. But that is what I do. And it's a hell of a lot more fun then thinking "it needs more water."
posted by Follow the Frog at 8:56 AM
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